Larry loses his plane ticket. He suspects the guy standing behind him saw him punch in his office security code and broke into his office the next day and stole it. Larry gets to the airport and accosts a few passengers
Larry: I wanna see your ticket.
The man rebutts and said he bought a ticket for his mother's funeral. Larry persists. Finally....
Man: You wanna see my ticket? Ok...what's the name right here? Is it your name? No, it's mine, Chris Dargka. See, if it was your name, it would say "Fucking Douchebag".
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After Larry interrupts a baptism because he thought the priest was drowning the man.
Woman: You didn't want to lose another Jew.
Larry: I don't care. What do I need him for?
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While ordering coffee at Starbucks.
Larry David: I'll have a vanilla... one of those vanilla bullshit things. You know, whatever you want, some vanilla bullshit latte cappa thing. Whatever you got.
Awhile later...
Larry: What's in this latte?
Starbucks employee: Milk and coffee.
Larry: Oh my god. Milk and coffee. I never would have thought of that. That's so brilliant.
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During a fight with his business partner named Hue.
Larry: Fuck Hue. Fuck Huuuuue.
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Wanda plans to leave town for the weekend but warns Larry and his wife, Cheryl of a possible terrorist attack.
Larry: We gotta get outta here!
Cheryl: Actually, this weekend is the big NRDC benefit we've been working on for months, Alanis Morisette is going to be there...
Wanda: Why don't we just call the terrorists and ask them to pick a weekend more suitable for you?
Wanda leaves...
Cheryl: i just dont see how we can leave this weekend. this whole benefit is my idea. i just know i can't leave town
Larry: well, maybe. uh...maybe i can go
Cheryl: and where are u gonna go
Larry: could go..golfing..at pebble beach
Cheryl: do you think that's a good idea...for us to be apart if something did happen
Larry: welll, then at least one of us would...survive
Cheryl: just seems like if we're gonna go, we should go together
Larry: well, not necessarily..almost seems a little selfish that you would want both of us to...perish
Cheryl:so you'd be fine going on without me
Larry: well, it would be...very difficult at first, i'm sure..but hopefully at some point, i'd get back some semblence of a life
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After leaving a terrible dinner party
Larry: What's the level of anger here? What am I dealing with?
Cheryl: Well, I'd have to say at least an 8.7.
Larry: 8.7? That's not that bad. I thought it would be at least a 9.
Cheryl: It was a 9. Then you broke that lamp, and the crazy woman screamed at you, and it got you some pity points.
Larry: Pity points. That's fabulous, I love pity points. But how can I get to a 7? I know a 6 is out of the question, but is there any way I can get to a 7?
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Jeff and his wife, Susie moves into a new house and Larry stops by to pick up a script
Larry: Nice house.
Susie: Yeah, come on. I'll give you a tour.
Larry: Naw, it's ok.
Susie: No, come on.
Larry: No, it's ok. I-I get it.
Susie: You get it?
Larry: Yeah, it's a house. It's new. I get it. It's nice.
Susie: You get it? Ok, you know what? Get the fuck out of my house, Larry.
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Over dinner, a friend asks Cheryl what she does
Larry: You don't work. You're unemployed.
Cheryl: Loving you is my job, Larry.
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Getting out of jury duty
Larry: Uh... well, your honor, I believe it would be hard to remain impartial seeing as the defendant is a negro.
