SEINFELD BLOG

"No, I had to tell my friends, my friends did not have to tell you" Jerry

some more of my favorites:

George-- Your using the it's not you its me line? Thats my line! if its anybody its me!

also from the episode where kramer wants to build levels:

Kramer- I got till the end of the month.
Jerry- Ill give you a year!

Then--
So when do i get my dinner?

No, no the bets off. im not gonna do it.

i know ur not gonna do thats why i made the bet!

Well it could be done.

Of course it could be done but its not gonna be done thats the whole point of the bet!

Jerry: Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and
how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better
self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not
to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are
to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.

the way he says it is what makes it so great

another from the same episode

Cheryl: Do you ever laugh?

Jerry: Not really. Sometimes, when I'm in the tub.

Someone asks me which way is Israel and I don't go flying off the handle!

Jerry: It was unprecendented. I mean, it was the first truly mutual breakup in relationship history.
No rejection, no guilt, no remorse.

Elaine: You've never felt remorse.

Jerry: I know, I feel bad about that...

George: I mean it's gotten to the point where I'm flirting with operators on
the phone. I almost made a date with one.
Jerry: Oh, so there's still hope.
George: I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become
hopeless. When you're hopeless, you don't care, and when you don't care, that
indifference makes you attractive.
Jerry: Oh, so hopelessness is the key.
George: It's my only hope.

now you make her mad,
she double the damages.

and praetel, what did, the doorman say?

"Breaking is like turning over a Coke machine, you don't do it all in one push. You got to rock it back and forth a few times, then it goes over"

"Kramer's running for condo board president?" "Who's he running against?"

"Common sense and a guy in a wheel chair."

DV

Talk about overlooked. How about Helen? Here's a few, and all from the same episode - The Pen

Jerry-
The lake isn't real.
Helen-
The lake is real.
Morty-
Are you kidding? They built that lake.
Helen-
But it's still real, it's water.

------------------------

Helen-
Don't sleep in there. You use our bedroom.
Elaine-
I can't take your bedroom, Mrs. Seinfeld.
Helen-
But I'm up at 6:00 in the morning.
Elaine-
I can't kick you out of your bed.
Helen-
We don't even sleep.

--------------------------------
Stella-
This had better be good. I'm missing the Golden Girls for this.
Helen-
I hate her like poison.

She is the most despicable woman I have ever
met in my life. I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so
attracted to them physically at the same time. It's like my brain is facing my
penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win.

Speaking of The Pen:
Jack Klompus-
Do me a personal favor. Take the pen!

"Here's a fact: I'm... The WIZ!"

"He's the Wiz... and nobody beats him."

Jerry: Elaine, see this T-shirts, six years I've had this T-shirts, it's my best one, I call him...Golden Boy

Elaine: I'm on the phone here.

Jerry: Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry, here touch Golden Boy!

Elaine: No thanks. (to the phone)Yeah, Yeah I'll hold.

Jerry: But see look at the collar, see it's fraying. Golden Boy is slowly dieing. Each wash is brings him one step closer, that's what makes the T-shirts such a tragic figure.

Elaine: Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some
Woolight?

Jerry: No!!! The reason he's iron man is because he goes out there and plays every game. Wash!!! Spin!!! Rinse!!! Spin!!! You take that away from him, you break his spirit!

Jerry: Elaine, see this T-shirts, six years I've had this T-shirts, it's my best one, I call him.....Golden Boy

Elaine: I'm on the phone here.

Jerry: Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry, here touch Golden Boy!

Elaine: No thanks. (to the phone)Yeah, Yeah I'll hold.

Jerry: But see look at the collar, see it's fraying. Golden Boy is slowly dieing. Each wash is brings him one step closer, that's what makes the T-shirts such a tragic figure.

Elaine: Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some
Woolight?

Jerry: No!!! The reason he's iron man is because he goes out there and plays every game. Wash!!! Spin!!! Rinse!!! Spin!!! You take that away from him, you break his spirit!

This is one of my favorite quotes, nobody else I say it to remembers it, but it's the best, touch Golden Boy

These aren't as memorable as famous quotes, so as I see them, I'll post more. I saw a couple from "The Chinese Restaurant" that I like, forgot one, remember this one:

George: For $50? I'd put my face in their soup and blow!

Ending of The Wink:

STEINBRENNER: You can stop kowtowing to Morgan. Congratulations, you got his job.
GEORGE: Wa, uh, thank you sir, you know I am not quite sure I'm right for it.
STEINBRENNER: Stop it George, he's out, you're in.
STEINBRENNER: A lot more work you know.
GEORGE: I know.
STEINBRENNER: A lot more responsibility. Long long hours.
GEORGE: I know.
STEINBRENNER: Not much more money. But you'll finally get the recognition you deserve.
GEORGE: That's what I'm afraid of. You know Mr. Steinbrenner, . . .
STEINBRENNER: You know as painful as it is I had to let a few people go over the years. Yogi Berra, Lou Pinella, Bucky Dent, Billy Martin, Dallas Green, Dick Houser, Bill Virdon, Billy Martin, Scott Marrow, Billy Martin, Bob Lemmon, Billy Martin, Gene Michael, Buck Showalter, … uh, tut!, . . .George, you didn't hear that from me.

From The Glasses, after Elaine has been bitten by a dog.

DOCTOR: Okay.
ELAINE: Okay? That's it? I don't need a shot?
DOCTOR: Not shot, dog bite.
ELAINE: No, no, no. I know I wasn't shot. Do I need a shot?
DOCTOR: Not shot, dog bite. Woof woof, not bang bang.