SEINFELD BLOG

When I'm eating something strange, I will occasionally use Kramer's line "interesting texture"..i just love the way he says it as he is eating the hot dog from the silent era

Which reminds me, I say "Giddyup" so often (in affirmation, answering the phone, rising from the sofa) I probably am mistaken for a tourettes victim.

I just thought of a few more...
I use quote from the Jiffy Park guy all the time

"We ask that you please bare with us."
"What can I tell you buddy, take it up with consumer affairs."
"That's what I'd like to know about it."

Ofcourse whenever I use these lines, I always do them with the correct accent

Jesus.......there went my night.

I just had to tell some one these and I guess this would be the right place.

My favorite one I've used which also got the best laugh was this...

.....I was late to a friends house for a study group for Physics, yuk, and they had already started, thus I was very behind. So when I asked my buddy how he used this certain formula he replied the exact line "Bryan were of you been" I quickly replied in the most perfect voice "a rodeo" one of the other guys got it and we both laughed. the buddy i asked had no idea what had just happened...it was great.

I also use the line "they say its less fattening but you eat more of it"

and

"Don't try to lure me into some maze of circular logic"

and finally sometimes

"oh moses smell the roses"

How can this be?

Oh, it be...

Sometimes I walk up to people and greet them with a very loud and deep: "Fulton, Octane, Butane, Nitrane!"

When people do dumb stuff I always tell them, "You need help, and I don't mean the once a week for eighty bucks... you need to get involved at the university level"

Was that wrong?

Very emasculating

it shrinks?

Whenever I see a particularly hideous-looking person, I am inclined to say "Yama-hama, it's fright night!" Also when I have trouble opening something, I tend to quote the classic scene where George tries to remove the condom from the wrapper: "You gotta open it like a bag of chips." Of course, "Shut up you old bag" must be used by thousands of Seinfeld fans; I'm surprised no one's mentioned it.

Its funny when i was reading your post, the part about trouble opening something, I was thinking you were going to say something else, but ill just use that as one of mine.

When I have trouble opening something i put what ever it was down, point at it with my hand, make a popping sound with my mouth, and say "serenity now"

As far as I know it was only said once by I say it fairly often as it was said by Kramer: "saddle up and ride!"

I use many, of course.

A few:

"Installed!" -- when half-installing or settting up something (a la Commando

"That seems about right"

Kramer's "Evidently".

When getting into a conversation that seems to go in circles, then "What is this, an Abbott and Costello routine?"

Or a convo with someone isn't getting your point, "It's like I'm talking to my Aunt Silvia here".

Or someone who is totally ignoring you "...so I think of going to Iran. (pause and shrug sholders) The Hezbolla has invited me to perform..."

Kramer's loud quick "Yeah!" whenever I bump into something.

George's "It's like a stay of execution!" for any delay that is a good thing.

"If you can't say anything bad a about a relationship, you shouldn't say anything at all"

Jerry exaggerated roll of the eyes (slowly turn and look at the person next to you) -- okay not really a phrase, but...

"This is not gonna good for anybody"

"Yes, I'm aware of the proximity to the park." - replace 'park' with relevant location.

"What we're trying to do here is come with the best possible lie..."

Speaking of expressions, I like, the one where Jerry lowers his chin and gives that knowing, yet unsaid, expression of agreement (like when George is questioning Elaine about shrinkage and Jerry say "you, know, after....").

A friend and I constantly find ourselves looking to mooch off assignments. But my friend is a lot better at it than i am, so when I need him to do it, I use this expression (or a somewhat altered version of it):

"Alright, do your thing there where you lie to everybody."

I also like to use "You see people think he's smart, but he's not!"

I use just about every one mentioned in this thread (which is why anyone that doesn't know what I'm talking about thinks I'm an idiot....and so do a few Seinfeld fans...but anyway...)
One of my all-time favorites is still when Jerry says "Oh sure...nobody ever gets shot in the city..." And then gives one of the best eye-rolls (aided by a great camera angle) in the history of television. I use it all the time. When I ask someone "Why did you do that???", and they give me something like..."I wasn't thinking"...As much as I'm tempted to use George's "You weren't thinking..."....I'll say "Of course...Who thinks???"...Followed by the eye-roll...You can't wipe the grin off my face with a sledge hammer for the rest of the day after that one.

Another one that i used to use a lot but had stopped for some reason is when one of my friends has done something really inhumane or stupid is Jerry's:

"Where trying to run a society here George" ...George obvously replaced with the name of the friend

I often use "You've screwed me again Pennypacker" even though most have no clue of what I'm talking about. No matter as it make me and thats good enough for me.

I recently got sucked into a tour of a newly-built Mormon temple. About thirty of us were ushered into this little room--the second waiting room--and I thought I'd give the old couple in front of me a chuckle, so I said, "Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?" They just turned and looked hard at me. Not a laugh, not a chuckle, not a tee-hee. They were the tour leaders. Big, big Mormons.