SEINFELD BLOG

It'll be bittah!

What'll ya wager they're both either high-talkers or Wigmasters! Ha!

A high-talking Wigmaster, sounds like MJ.

Here's a nice little story. I went to Toronto this weekend with my parents to see the BAAABBBBYYYYYY. On our way back, we stopped at a Wendy's at around Kingston. Now bare in mind that my mother is an immigrant who can barely speak english, much less understand a comedy like Seinfeld (all she gets is Kramer's physical comedy). She's a short, stocky, quirky woman (fortunately with a full head of hair), so this was pretty hilarious. We ordered the spicy chicken burger, and midway through the meal, she lifts her head and says to me "George likes Spicy Chicken!"

Needless to say, I completely freaked out laughing. Trying to comprehend where she could have gotten that, i realized that i had mentioned the line to her a few weeks ago, and she remembered it. But i'll never forget that adlib from my mama. It was like when Jerry threw out the latex salesman line.

I'd rather listen to you sing 'My Mammy', cj.

Who would have thought an immigrant would like spicy chicken? Am I wrong, here?

well, if you think immigrants don't like spicy chicken, you are dead wrong. dead wrong.

how do you live with yourself?

It ain't easy.

One that I use on occasion (in non-mixed company), is when a group of us will see a VERY striking woman while lunching or before/after a business meeting. I will catch a few others ogling, as I very briefly take a break from my own ogling, and say to them,

"Yep, I'm out. I'm out of the contest".

That one never fails to provide a quick exit on a high note.

The 'It's like looking at the Sun..You sneak a peek, you don't stare' always gets a great laugh; and most of my unsuspecting audiences don't know it's not an original. I, too, forget to mention it most of the times

Onward and upward.

It's a great closer for all those awkward conversations with people I'd rather not be talking to anyway.

i just pulled a golden quote out during a meeting at work this morning that i had to tell you about.

we were discussing a bunch of stuff about policies and whether or not they are working, and whether or not they should be modified, followed, etc...

of course you know where this is going. "Even I am not above the policy" was the line i dropped to our senior VP among others, and i even put just a hint of an accent on it (just enough so they weren't sure, but not so much as to make it obvious that i was using a line/telling a joke)

of course, no one got it, and the meeting went on.... but glory, glory halehlooooooyaaaah... i smiled just thinking about sharing it with you all.

stay outta the deep end.

I had sex with your wife.

"George is getting upset"

plus whenever somebody sneezes:

"You're soooooo good looking"

You know, we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilized way.

"No good?"

(I've always wondered if that line originated with Abbott & Costello. Sounds like something Costello would say...)

Oh, this is a good one.

(spoken like Ricky, of course)

I love using this one even though it's only on a rare occasion...

I'll tell you what. I'll pick you up a sundress and a parasol and you can just sashay your pretty little self around the town square.

One nite my brother and I were quoting away and my wife asked "Con you two go an hour wothout quoting Seinfeld" I instantly replied.......

OK... "starting now {complete with hand action"

we both lost it for about five minutes.

I use the sarchastic "that's a shame" quite a bit

This is one for our side!

One nite my brother and I were quoting away and my wife asked "Con you two go an hour wothout quoting Seinfeld" I instantly replied.......

OK... "starting now {complete with hand action"

VBB, that was awesome! Check that, that's gold!