SEINFELD BLOG

With Elaine, I like the bottom. Let her do all the work. You should be writing this stuff down!

Actually, there's very little sleeping involved.

So what is it then? A health plaaaan?

I'd give anything to sleep with Elaine. I'd bend her over and do it in the poop shoot. I'd make it hurt. It would be awesome.

Yeh, that's what you'd do...

Oh, and EA... you know that Baltimore cap you've got in your office? Wear it.

I'd make Elaine wear the Baltimore cap along with a Cal Ripken Jr. jersey with nothing under it. That way I could just lift up the jersey and go to town. I'd set it up where I would never have to see her face, just the ass the whole time.

Is your headboard padded?

I'd make Elaine wear the Baltimore cap along with a Cal Ripken Jr. jersey...

I'm tellin' ya, this guy's bonkos! He really is!

Hell no my headboard isn't padded. It's solid wood. Not that I would be using it. I would make sure the sex would be as disrespectful as it possibly can be for Elaine. I'd bend her over the staircase. That's the way to go.

I think EA was the first one voted off Survivor Uranus.

You know, EA... I've never heard anyone talk the way you do. It's very unusual.

I'll tell something even more unusual, I hope Elaine isn't shaved. Nothing more exciting than for papa to go downstairs to find little brown hairs everywhere.

Well... I'd watch the third base coach if I were you, 'cause... I don't think he's wavin' you in.

Oh I'm being waved in, right into the big dark bush.

You mean just because Elaine is wearing a Cal Ripkin jersey you think you're goin' downtown?

EA should not be treated any different just because he is uh... differently challenged

She hates it when I wear a Jeter jersey but I just smack that big ass of her a few times and she then submits to the almighty EA.

Get in line ladies...the mighty EA is servicing.

And more sympathetic, I could not be...