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Festivus Book Help Needed!

Author Message
Allen Salkin

PostPosted: February 14, 2005 11:56 AM 


So many people loved the Festivus article I wrote for the NY Times in December that I'm now writing a book on Festivus for Warner Books that will be out in stores for Festivus 2005.

I need your help. Festivus is the holiday popularized on "The Strike" episode of Seinfeld. Thousands and thousands of real people now throw Festivus parties. Because I’ll have space in the book, I am looking for more details about how Festivus is being celebrated – and I am looking for photos from those real world Festivus parties.

If you or anyone you know is a Festivus celebrator or has been to a Festivus party, please contact me. If you haven't been to a party, please at least write to me with some grievances and private things you do on Festivus. The book will have sections on the rituals of Festivus and this is what I want to know:

+ How you conduct the feats of strength (thumb-wrestling?)and the airing of grievances
+ What new rituals you’ve added (dog-racing? jackhammer-the-statuary?)
+ What foods you serve (with recipes and names)
+ Where you buy your pole and where/if you store it and how you mount it come Festivus time
+ Where you celebrate the holiday (office—what type of biz, home-what sort of house)
+ Who are the guests (friends, family, disliked people, people you lust after)
+ How many years you’ve been celebrating
+ What is the most bizarre thing that has happened at your Festivus gatherings? Have any nasty fights broken out, or romances bloomed?
+ Do you give gifts/ souvenirs? What are they? Why that sort of gift?
+ Festivus songs? Lyrics please. Chords, too, if you have them.
+ Anything else? (One group in Detroit mounts a box of Junior Mints as the angel of their pole.)

Please email me back with as much as you can write on each of these questions. I need the most colorful stories I can find to include in the book. It’s going to be hilarious. Please include your phone numbers so I can contact you if I need more info and/or if you’d rather I called you so you can just tell me the stories.

Please email as many photos as you’ve got. I’ll pick the best for the book.

The original NY Times story can be found here: . This is also a site to which you can point anyone else who might be intertested in contributing.

Thank you for your help. We’re going to make this the best Festivus book ever!


Allen Salkin

p.s. If you’d rather just give me money, you can Paypal me. My account name is

Bubble Boy

Posts: 362

Reply: 1

PostPosted: February 14, 2005 2:28 PM 

I don't know if you have already, but I would suggest using the search at the top of the forum. There have been many topics, some have pictures of Festivus Poles as well. Good Luck, and let us know how it goes. I'll get you a few links in a second.

Allen Salkin

Posts: 3

Reply: 2

PostPosted: February 16, 2005 1:12 PM 



Posts: 5505

Reply: 3

PostPosted: February 16, 2005 5:23 PM 

Who profits from our help?...........

Yeah..... that's what Jimmy thought. Confused

Condo Board President

Posts: 2988

Reply: 4

PostPosted: February 16, 2005 6:33 PM 

Good luck on the book. Even if I wanted to help you, I couldn't, because I don't celebrate Festivus. I still enjoy raining blows down on fellow Christmas shoppers.


Posts: 225

Reply: 5

PostPosted: February 16, 2005 10:55 PM 

omg....this is awesome, i have many AMAZING festivus pics...feats of strengths stories...all of goin outta town for a few days...i will return monday and email u some of the funniest things u'll ever see

Judge Vandelay
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 6

PostPosted: February 17, 2005 10:43 AM 

And I'll tell you another thing, Salkin, Allen, whatever your name is:

I'm not a big fan of the yelling.

Allen Salkin

Posts: 3

Reply: 7

PostPosted: February 17, 2005 3:33 PM 

You know what I find interesting? That a real person uses his real name, gives a real website address, and is completely straightforward and people online think 'there's no way this guy is being honest.'

I am actually the person who wrote the New York Times story that ran December 19, 2004. I am actually writing a book on the real-world celebration of Festivus. And I actually need the help of Seinfeld fans.

If you do not celebrate the holiday but ar Festivus friendly, I also would welcome your input for another section of the book:
+What is your favorite moment of the Festivus episode (the proper name of this episode is "The Strike")?
+ What are your current grievances with the world, with your family, with your neighbor's pet? (Be as mean as you like)
+ What is the thing you dislike the most about the holiday you "normally" celebrate in December (Xmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, etc)?
+ Anything else?


Allen Salkin

p.s. Anyone who would like to "flame" me (Is that word still used), you're welcome to do so to me directly at the above email address. Please let me know if you can think of any way for me to demonstrate that I am being straightforward that I am not already doing.


Posts: 5505

Reply: 8

PostPosted: February 17, 2005 4:55 PM 

Jimmy doesn't doubt you at all.... Jimmy just has enough to do, without donating his free time and effort to help some stranger write a book.

You're like the kids who come on here and want us to help them with their "Seinfeld" school projects. Do it all yourself, or pay people to help like every other businessman.


Posts: 5505

Reply: 9

PostPosted: February 17, 2005 5:38 PM 

Also... Jimmy too, wishes you well on it and will most certainly check it out.

cousin jeffrey
Vile Weed

Posts: 1714

Reply: 10

PostPosted: February 17, 2005 6:35 PM 

i don't celebrate Festivus so i can't tell you anything about how i celebrate this holiday.
But as to my favorite festivus moment, it would have to be:
"Hey, Kruger...My son tells me your company stinks! You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe.. I lost my train of thought."
My grievances right now would be directed towards the NHL for being a bunch of rich, greedy businessmen trying to make another couple of million dollars.
And your President is a bit of a fool.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 11

PostPosted: February 17, 2005 7:46 PM 

I dont celebrate Festivus either, but I should because I am not a christmas lover at all.

cousin jeffrey, you must be referring to Bush. If I my provided a vindication. Half of the United States agrees that most of his decisions are infelicitous.

We do hope that the democrats can reassemble the party and send a clear message. In my opinion the biggest step would be to reach to the middle and not be so left sided.

But anyway, back to the funny! Very Happy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 12

PostPosted: February 17, 2005 10:46 PM 

There WAS a clear message... and that message received the majority of the votes, once again (more than any other President in U.S. history - including asshole)! But the Republican crime family threw them in dumpsters and deleted them!

Don't buy into the lies that those very people are dishing out to you. The Republcans haven't won an election since '88, and they don't HAVE to win anymore... the U.S. is no longer a democracy. Anyone who votes in the next election is a fool!


Posts: 3

Reply: 13

PostPosted: February 18, 2005 12:17 AM 

Understandable Jimmy, but what if the democrats win in the next election? THEN what will you say to your conspiracy theory? Will you still feel the same way?

I do unerstand you to a point. In every government there is conspiracy. Even every origination there is theft, lies, and concealment. As sad as it is thats society. Men hunt, kill, make, and destroy.

But people do have a voice. Think about it. Prohibition, people fought for there right to drink. they didnt take no for an answer.
Womens right, blacks right, handicapes right. The list goes on.

Today people are scared to stand up for what is right the dont want to put there foot forward. Why? because people get killed for what they beleave in. We would rather stand by and just let it be. If we didnt sit idle by marijuana would be legal.

When you start to tell people that there is no hope, no way, no chance, then you let them win.

I for one will vote next year. I for one believe that the United States can be better then we are right now. I for one am an American.

Being a world power has gone to our heads. We are taking it for granted. So we run over the world and let our government run over us. what a pitty.


Posts: 5505

Reply: 14

PostPosted: February 18, 2005 12:58 AM 

Democrats won't win. This country is becoming another Cuba. You'll either be wealthy and powerful, or you'll live in poverty... and there's nothing anyone can do about it except to leave.

There is no Santa Clause, there is no Easter Bunny, there is no hope for America.


Posts: 3

Reply: 15

PostPosted: February 18, 2005 1:13 AM 

Okay Jimmy, I respect your opinion. I understand your anger. Only time will tell though Jimmy.


Posts: 809

Reply: 16

PostPosted: February 19, 2005 5:12 AM 

two words:

joe biden.

allen salkin

Posts: 3

Reply: 17

PostPosted: February 19, 2005 6:05 PM 

I still need help with the festivus book...


Posts: 5505

Reply: 18

PostPosted: February 19, 2005 11:59 PM 

What is this... The Summer of Allen?

Allen, we've had it with you. Understand? We love you like a son, but even WE have limits. The requests, the begging, and every Saturday with the posts. We're cuttin' you lose.


Posts: 10

Reply: 19

PostPosted: February 20, 2005 11:04 AM 

My birthday is on the same day as festivus, so unknown to most people, I have celebrated it every year.

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