Seinfeld DVD Complete Series Box Set

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Hey Stan: We Need New Transcripts!

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PostPosted: January 30, 2005 12:45 AM 

Hey Stan: Several of us agree that we need accurate and complete transcripts. Now that the first three seasons are out on DVD, we can get started. And we can replace the transcripts for seasons 4-9 as those DVDs come out. I think you'll find an army of volunteers on this site. How about it?

Condo Board President

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PostPosted: February 1, 2005 3:07 PM 

Yesterday, I jokingly asked on another thread whether the transcriber for "The Revenge" had been on PCP. That was a tad harsh. I'm sure he did the best he could with what he had, including the syndicator's butchering of this episode, like all the episodes, in reruns. Nevertheless... let me point out all the mistakes and omissions from just the first eleven minutes of this unidentified good samaritan's transcript.

After the opening stand-up routine (which is missing; more about this later), in Act One, scene 1, the transcript has LEVITAN beginning the scene, saying: "Remind me to tell you what we did in Lake George." The scene actually begins with: "She was great... You don't wanna know... Hey Brecky, remind me to tell you ..."

In scene 2, at Jerry's apartment, the transcript has KRAMER saying: "How' bout if I put a few things--" After which, the transcript has JERRY saying: "Wait a sec. I don't wanna do--" ... "I don't wanna mix in everything!" KRAMER actually says: "How 'bout if I put a few things in your bag." (I.e., he gets the entire sentence out.) JERRY says: "Wait a second. I don't wanna do that... No, I don't wanna mix in everything."

In scene 3, referring to his having to use the men's room in the hall at his job, the transcript has GEORGE saying: "Well, [laughing] we share it with Pace Electronics." He actually says: "Well [laughing], I mean, we share it with Pace Electronics."

In scene 4, the transcript has GEORGE saying: "Maybe I could be like, an announcer. Like a caller man." GEORGE actually says: "..., like, a color man." A few moments later, in the same scene, after JERRY says, "Well, it doesn't sound like you completely thought this through," the transcript has GEORGE saying: "[sighs] What should I do?" GEORGE actually says: "I guess not. [sighs] What should I do?"

Then the second stand-up routine is missing. (Reasonable people can differ over whether omitting all the stand-ups is a "mistake.")

In Act Two, scene 1, after LEVITAN says, "Ava, what happened to you Friday afternoon?", the transcript has AVA saying: "I got a little tied up." She actually says: "Oh, I got tied up." A few moments later, when LEVITAN tells everyone where the party for Rick Barr Properties is going to be, the transcripts says: "Madison 48th," whereas he actually says "Madison and 48th." And a few minutes after that, just before LEVITAN says: "You can't win...", the transcript has GEORGE saying: "Oh, [laughing] you see?" He actually says: "Oh, [laughing] you see? You just, you don't know my sense of humor. I mean, Dan, don't I joke around all the time?" To which Dan responds: "I wouldn't say ALL the time."

In Act Two, scene 2, referring to the plan to slip LEVITAN a mickey, after GEORGE says, "This is what they would do in the movies!," the transcript has GEORGE saying: "It's a beautiful thing!" He actually says: "It's the beautiful thing!" A few moments later, after JERRY says, "Where are you gonna get this mickey? I can't believe I'm actually saying 'mickey'!," the transcript has GEORGE saying: "I got a sauce," followed by JERRY'S: "You got a mickey sauce?" Actually, the word is "source." As in "mickey source."

Now, I'll admit: some of these mistakes are minor. But look at the number of them in just the first eleven minutes of the show! "Caller man" instead of "color man"? And what about "mickey sauce" for "mickey source"? It must be impossible for a short, stocky, bald, Italian, Catholic Jew from Queens to order a source and not get a sauce.


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PostPosted: February 1, 2005 7:53 PM 

...and in another episode, some dope kept spelling "Costanza" C-a-r-t-w-r-i-g-h-t.

Condo Board President

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PostPosted: February 1, 2005 8:02 PM 

Er, um, ahem, and then there's the transcript for "The Movie." Check out the butcher job the transcriber did on the scene in which Jerry and Pat Buckles share a cab. What happened to the part where Buckles imitates Ike Turner, Jose Feliciano, and Franklin Roosevelt?

cousin jeffrey
Vile Weed

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PostPosted: February 1, 2005 11:58 PM 

Didn't you hear Jerry, it was a terrible bit. It stunk.

Condo Board President

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PostPosted: February 2, 2005 12:11 AM 

I thought we were riffing, but Jimmy was ignoring. And guess what? That reminds me of yet another line that's missing from "The Movie."

And take a look at the end of "The Old Man." "They inform all that the records are broken, but before Tim can get really out of control, they try to call Mr. Fields at home, but the line is busy," etc., etc.

What happened to the dialogue?


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PostPosted: February 2, 2005 12:32 AM 

So, Biff wants to Riff...

J. Chiles

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PostPosted: February 2, 2005 11:00 AM 

I've mentioned The Old Man many times. The whole dialogue between Sid and Ben where Sid says that putting cream in tea without asking is a turnoff is missing, too.

J. Chiles

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Reply: 8

PostPosted: February 2, 2005 11:01 AM 

Don't think there is any argument that clean scripts are needed (well maybe just desired). It is a mayyer of Stan giving the thumbs-up on inclusion.

Condo Board President

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Reply: 9

PostPosted: February 2, 2005 11:02 AM 

"Biff" is always funny. Too bad there isn't a transcript with a missing "Biff" reference. That would've made a nice segway.

And speaking of missing lines, have you seen the transcript for "The Red Dot"? The first line of the stand-up is missing: "Every mall has a Hoffritz in it."


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PostPosted: February 2, 2005 6:07 PM 

This isn't a mistake, but Jimmy noticed that the monologue ending about bloodstains was changed. Jimmy remembers Jerry saying something like "maybe you should get rid of the body first." But it was changed to getting "the harpoon out your chest first." The original line was better in Jimmy's opinion.

Bob Sakamano

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Reply: 11

PostPosted: February 2, 2005 11:00 PM 

The Burning script has Kramer lighting a cigar before he belts out gonorea to the back row. It's actually a cigarette.

Denim Vest
Cockeyed Optimist

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PostPosted: February 2, 2005 11:01 PM 

That was me dv.

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