I'd like to help you with this thread, but i'm just not as horrible a person as you.
The best thing I can come up with is:
One time this guy asked me and my friend to come to a restaurant where he was having a little thing. (For what reason, I still don't know). What kind of high schooler has a social gathering at restaurant? It was all very confusing to me.
So before we get there, we get a bite to eat at a fast-food place and my friend and I try to come up with some excuse to get out of there, because there was a party happening somewhere else. I come up with having to wake up early because my brother and I just bought a used car, and I had to get out and sign the papers. So we're there for an hour or so, eating a salad, just a salad, just a salad, and finally I get the courage to get up and go through my little routine. "Yeah, I gotta go to bed, wake up early. I have trouble waking up, I know it's only 9:30...yada, yada, yada. The guy asks me why my brother can't just pick it up, and I totally freeze.
Anyway, we leave and head to the party. Nothing special, but after about an hour, you-know-who walks in. So I try to hide behind a load-bearing pillar in the house, but no luck. He sees me, and starts asking me, shouldn't you be sleeping, I thought you need to wake up early tomorrow? I see my friend at the other end of the room really laughing it up. Anyway, it was one of those lies that come back to bite you. Like lying about having a house in the Hamptons.
Another thing that comes to mind, that's pretty insensitive:
Grade 9 or 10, can't remember. It's June, everyone's got there yearbooks out. We were in class, actually having our Music class finals. Basically, the whole class waits around the auditorium and one by one, we're called to perform for the teacher.
So we're waiting there, people take the opportunity to sign each others yearbooks. I'm sitting there, talking with my friend, the same who came to the restaurant. This girl comes up to me: "Hey, cousin jeffrey, can you sign my yearbook?" I look up, and I have no idea who this is. So instead of trying to fake it, or even better, just flip open the yearbook and see what other people call her, I just blurt out, "Sure, what's you're name?" Needless to say, I get a "nevermind"