Seinfeld DVD Complete Series Box Set

Seinfeld Script Search:

Jerry's best moments

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PostPosted: August 6, 2004 5:10 PM 

We all speak about how funny kramer and george are. The general consensus is that elaine sucks, and she hates the guys we love, thinking she's too good for them.

But what about JERRY'S funniest bits....?

I like when he is trying to make Amy admit that she was kissing his cousin, in "the glasses", but it's the way that he plays it which is so funny.

And the way he talks about miss."man-hands"

J: it was like a creature out of greek mythology - part beautiful woman, part horrible beast

E: would you rather she had no hands at all?

J: would she have hooks?

E: do HOOKS make it more attractive, jerry?

J:... kinda cool...

post your best jerry bits! Smile

Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 1

PostPosted: August 6, 2004 6:26 PM 

It's funny you mention this, because i was thinking the exact same thing today on my bike. We have threads about George and Kramer, but not Jerry. I guess because he is the sort of "straight man on the show (not that there's anything wrong with that).
I think we should also give him credit for not being selfish, it's his show and he could easily insist on keeping the great punch lines for himself, but probably looks at the big picture instead of what just benefits him. He does have some classic moments though.
I thought that his best performance was the episode when he was acting "dark and disturbed" for the benefit of George and his Asian lawyer girlfriend.


Posts: 5505

Reply: 2

PostPosted: August 6, 2004 10:16 PM 

Jerry desperately trying to escape his pony remark was, without a doubt, his best moment... in Jimmy's opinion. He looked like he wanted to crawl under the table and die. A performance worthy of an Emmy all by itself.

Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 3

PostPosted: August 6, 2004 10:24 PM 

Yes, that was a great performance...If not for the fact that we've all been in that kind of embarrasing situation, where nobody wants to help you....that was a classic, Jimmy.

Tor Eckman

Posts: 72

Reply: 4

PostPosted: August 6, 2004 11:31 PM 

My favorite is probably when he is getting a rental car and the lady lost his reservation. He then tries to explain what the purpose of the reservation is, etc. I liked that one.

Also, once, Elaine had met this guy she really liked and something went wrong (imagine that) and she was whining about it to Jerry. She said "one day, something horrible is gonna happen to you." Then he said very calmly and without hesitation, "no, I'm gonna be fine." And then started talking about something totally different. It cracked me up.

Hipster Dufus

Posts: 54

Reply: 5

PostPosted: August 7, 2004 1:36 AM 

I think his reaction to Kramer telling him about the back massage Jerry's girlfriend gave him was classic. "Don't you EVER talk about her that way!" Another great one was Jerry explained why he didn't have insurance. "The only designed flaw is that the door...must be closed!"

Denim Vest
Cockeyed Optimist

Posts: 551

Reply: 6

PostPosted: August 7, 2004 10:51 AM 

I love it when he is looking through the window at Newman in the barber shop and Jerry has the bad haircut. Also, when he switches pesonalities with Kramer after sleeping in his apartment with the red menace.


Bad Breaker Upper

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Reply: 7

PostPosted: August 7, 2004 7:43 PM 

"I think I might have made a big mistake...."


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Reply: 8

PostPosted: August 7, 2004 8:00 PM 

"Well I think by sleeping with her I may have sent her the wrong message"

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 9

PostPosted: August 7, 2004 8:27 PM 

Hellooooo Newman


Newman !


Posts: 428

Reply: 10

PostPosted: August 7, 2004 9:42 PM 

"Ohhhh, I see...... Want to get some pizza?"


Girlfriend: "My mentor wouldn't date a hack!"
Jerry: "Would. Does. Is."


"I can't fly coach -- I can't! ... I won't."

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 11

PostPosted: August 9, 2004 10:39 AM 

After getting caught peeing in the parking garage.....

JERRY: Because I could get Euromysitisis poisoning and die, that's why! ..Do you think I enjoy living like this? ..the shame, the humiliation.. You know, I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition.. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning.. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place! You want to call the Department of Social Services? Oh, it's Saturday. They're closed today. My luck.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 12

PostPosted: August 9, 2004 10:41 AM 

Jerry on Stress....

JERRY: I can't take it anymore! She's driving me crazy! I can't sleep, I can't leave the house, and I' here, I'm climbin' the walls. Meanwhile, I'm dating a virgin, I'm in this contest - something's gotta give!


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Reply: 13

PostPosted: August 9, 2004 4:51 PM 

Euromysitisis was a great bit.

...and the Red Chinese prison comment.


Posts: 71

Reply: 14

PostPosted: August 9, 2004 5:49 PM 

Jerry's snide remarks always crack me up.

George: That's the difference. I can sense the slightest human suffering.

Jerry: Are you sensing anything right now?

Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 15

PostPosted: August 9, 2004 6:03 PM 

What kills me is his inability to keep a straight face when delivering a line like the one above. It's funny in itself...

I don't know what to believe, you're eating onions, you're spotting dimes...

Wealthy Industrialist

Posts: 451

Reply: 16

PostPosted: August 9, 2004 6:07 PM 

"I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating me!"

jon n
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 17

PostPosted: August 9, 2004 9:16 PM 

I like any moment that he raises his voice to that comedic pitch

why don't u like Elaine? I love Elaine shes so funny!!!


Posts: 5505

Reply: 18

PostPosted: August 10, 2004 2:47 AM 

Yeah, Like he did on his new two-line phone with George, regarding the journalist overhearing the "gay" discussion.

"OH NO!" blah, blah etc...

It's the worst cue card-style delivery, but it's classic Seinfeld. It wouldn't have been the same if he'd had actual acting skills.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 19

PostPosted: August 10, 2004 8:35 AM 

Any time that George calls Jerry in a panic....

George: Jerry, you gotta help me...
Jerry: Who is this?

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 20

PostPosted: August 10, 2004 8:37 AM 

GEORGE: Hey, hey! Yankee game!

JERRY: Oh, great! Alright.

ANNOUNCER #1: And the Yankees take the field!

ANNOUNCER #2: What is with the Yankees? They look like they're having trouble running, they can't move!

ANNOUNCER #1: It's their uniforms, they're too tight, they've shrunk! They're running like penguins! Forget this game!

ANNOUNCER #2: Oh my God, Mattingly just split his pants!

JERRY: That's a shame.

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Copyright ©2003, Mark Carey.