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Kramer for Prez

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PostPosted: September 15, 2004 8:20 PM 

I've had enough with people bashing Bush and I'll go crazy if Kerry starts talking about his "war hero" days again....I think it is time for a total change....I nominate KRAMER for President!!!!!!!! What do you guys think?.....How would Kramer handle the war on terrorism???? the economy???? about pizza shops where u make ur own pizzas on every BLOCK!


Posts: 33

Reply: 1

PostPosted: September 15, 2004 8:27 PM 

With Newman as his running-mate?

Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 2

PostPosted: September 15, 2004 8:29 PM 

Well, he couldn't be any worse than the coward criminal that's there now. OK, no more Bush bashing......Starting.............


Posts: 33

Reply: 3

PostPosted: September 16, 2004 5:17 AM 

Why not Gendison? You´re totally right.

Cockeyed Optimist

Posts: 537

Reply: 4

PostPosted: September 16, 2004 2:54 PM 

Vote Kramer/Newman Now, if you want the change in America.

J. Chiles

Posts: 5139

Reply: 5

PostPosted: September 16, 2004 3:03 PM 

I think this covers all of the cabinet positions and cabinet-level posts. And, hey, it ain't all that bad! Smile

Vice President of the United States – J Peterman (great funeral speaker and all-around yarn teller)

Secretary of State – Frank Costanza (Born in Italy, he can’t be President, and this is the next best thing. He’s a staunch supporter of his position, yet apolitical. The perfect diplomat!)

Secretary of the Treasury – Morty Seinfeld (No embezzling and no frivolous spending in his regime!)

Secretary of Defense – Mickey (No one’s going to push a little person around and, besides, Mickey don’t take no shit from no one)

Attorney General – Jackie Chiles, Esq. (Someone trying to violate your rights? OUTRAGEOUS. With Dr. Bison helping out on those pesky medical malpractice litigations)

Secretary of the Interior – Cousin Jeffery (He does wonders with parks)

Secretary of Agriculture – The Farmer (With assistance from his daughter, Susie)

Secretary of Commerce – Uncle Leo (Leo can turn anything into a profit and, if not, he has no qualms about thievery)

Secretary of Labor – The Cubans (No more Magic Pan oppression)

Secretary of Health and Human Services – Dr. Cooperman (The Assman will have great “one in a million” stories for those boring fund raisers, too)

Secretary for Housing and Urban Development – Mr. Heyman (He knows what it means to be homeless and can give an atomic wedgie to those who buck policy)

Secretary of Transportation – Rusty (He knows the ins and outs of the rickshaw transit mode)

Secretary of Energy – Earl Haffler (Texas Oil Czar – ‘nuff said)

Secretary of Education – George Costanza (For all those who wish they were bright, but aren’t. He’ll institute books-on-tape in all classrooms and instruct on how to cheat on SAT and IQ tests.)

Secretary of Veterans' Affairs – Eddie Sherman (Mr. Fatigues)

Secretary of Homeland Security - Rabbi Glickman (Will leave no stone unturned to ferret out gossip and find himself in a position to know everything about everyone)

Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency – Kristin (And, she can hold telethons on PBS, too)

Director of the Office of Management and Budget – Barry Prophet (In reality, a fine money man, just keep him away from mohair sweaters)

Director of the National Drug Control Policy – Richie Appel (One word - INTERVENTION)

U.S. Trade Representative – Bob Saccomano (The authority on promoting cheap, inferior American goods to a world market)

White House Chief of Staff - Newman (A Solomonesque presence in the White House – an ehhhhhxcellent choice)

Director of Central Intelligence - Lieutenant Bookman (Expert at identifying criminals)

United States Ambassador to the United Nations – Jean-Paul Jean-Paul (Just make sure that alarm is set)

Federal Emergency Management Agency Director – The Mohel (HIS emergencies will make others feel like THEIR emergencies are insignificant)

White House Counsel – Newman (A Solomonesque presence in the White House)

National Security Adviser – Jack Klompus (Nothing slips by on Jack’s watch)

Special Assistant to the President – Darren (Oh, you want a tenacious little monkey in this position)

And, finally -

Senior Adviser and Assistant to the President – Elaine Marie Benes (Actually, more like a 4-5 days a week intern. Ohhh, baby!)

J. Chiles

Posts: 5139

Reply: 6

PostPosted: September 16, 2004 3:09 PM 

Damn, I nominated Newman twice. Make the White House Counsel Cheryl Fong (She a shark, she never lose a case!)

Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 7

PostPosted: September 16, 2004 3:28 PM 

Jackie...........we need to talk.

Other Walter

Posts: 650

Reply: 8

PostPosted: September 16, 2004 7:47 PM 

Great choices Jackie! But nothing for Jerry?

J. Chiles

Posts: 5139

Reply: 9

PostPosted: September 16, 2004 7:54 PM 

Good question. Maybe he could replace Jean-Paul Jean-Paul as Ambassador to the United Nations. Since there is so much imbalance in the world - his "even-steven" qualities might be of benefit! To the exent that the uN can do ANYTHING Smile


Posts: 225

Reply: 10

PostPosted: September 16, 2004 8:33 PM 

I love the appointments! IT'S A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!!! All kramer would need is a first lady....take a crack at that J. Chiles. I think the low talker would be great...wouldn't hear the "SHOVE IT"

J. Peterman
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 11

PostPosted: September 17, 2004 9:38 PM 

Jerry should be CoS, while Newman should be placed on the bench, if the opportunity arises.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 12

PostPosted: September 18, 2004 10:41 PM 

If we just put our 3 minds together...

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Copyright ©2003, Mark Carey.