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Mitch Hedberg dies at 37

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VegetableLasagna







PostPosted: March 31, 2005 10:38 PM 

Mitch hedberg has died at the young age of 37.

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1499352/20050331/hedberg_mitch.jhtml?headlines=true%20

He was a great comdian, some considered him the next Seinfeld. He just never got the "big break."

I had tears watering my eyes as I read this. I cannot believe it, he was far far too young, and had not come anywhere near his full potential.


"If you're flammable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit."
-Mitch hedberg, 1968-2005

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 1



PostPosted: April 1, 2005 8:13 AM 

No offense, but I think I speak for many people when i say................WHO?

Superman
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 2



PostPosted: April 1, 2005 10:27 AM 

I didnt know who this guy was either untill yesterday. Two blogs that I visit often had a small tribute for Mitch hedberg.

He was a comedian that die of a heroin overdose. Everyone knew he was a addict. He would talk about it in his shows.

"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs, but I used to do them too,"

One joke I read that I thought was funny...

Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger."

Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older."

Where'd you get that camera man?

rio
Latex Salesman

Posts: 347

Reply: 3



PostPosted: April 1, 2005 11:09 AM 

I know, I still can't believe it! Next to Seinfeld, he was my favorite comedian. Man, this sucks.

VegetableLasagna
Bubble Boy

Posts: 362

Reply: 4



PostPosted: April 1, 2005 11:45 AM 

They do not know how he died yet, there has been no autopsy, so it wasn't drugs for sure. he has had a heart condition since he was a younger child, and his mother fears that it was heart failure.

http://www.mitchhedberg.net/home.html

That is his website, there are a few small clips of him in the top left corner, you may recognize him. He had a very succesful Comedy Central Presents episode, but never made it into the world of sitcoms. Mostly because his way of mumbling one-liners, didn't crossover very well. He did make an independent movie back in 1999, called "Los Enchilladas" I think. I am hoping to find it, if anyone knows where, it would be appreciated.

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 5



PostPosted: April 2, 2005 12:17 PM 

See? Those lines (from Superman) are funny without ever having seen or heard of Mitch Hedberg. That's comedy.

The lines given on "that other thread"...... not funny. It's not rocket science, people.

CLEVER = funny
STUPID = not funny

Jimmy's gotta check this Mitch guy out.

VegetableLasagna
Bubble Boy

Posts: 362

Reply: 6



PostPosted: April 2, 2005 2:02 PM 

- Alcohol is like a disease but it's like the only disease you can get yelled at for having. Damnit Auto, you're an alcoholic. Damnit Auto, you have luipis. One of those doesn't sound right.

- I wanna be a racecar passenger. Just the guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Man, you really like Tide...

- I play golf, I'm not good at golf, I never got good at it, I never got a hole in one but I did hit a guy and thats way more satisfying. You're suppose to yell 'FORE', but I was too busy mumbling 'There aint no way thats gonna hit him.'

- This shirt is dry clean only. Which means...it's dirty.

- I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

- 2-in-1 is a bullsh*t term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.

- The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fu*king relentless.

- A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

- I wrote a letter to my dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so I crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad - there's a lot of sh*t you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away...


And my all time personal favorite.....

- I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

Bela Lugosi Jr.
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 7



PostPosted: April 2, 2005 2:12 PM 

some videoclips of his stand-up right here:

http://www.comedycentral.com/standup/central/detail.jhtml?p=/comedians/h/mitch_hedberg.xml

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 8



PostPosted: April 2, 2005 2:49 PM 

That's good stuff, Veg. Does he go abruptly from one line to the next (like Steven Wright), or do all of those lines come from different topics which flow from one to another (like Seinfeld)?

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 9



PostPosted: April 2, 2005 2:57 PM 

Just watched some of those clips...he's good. The Ritz cracker (edible plate) bit was slick. Never heard of him before. Too bad about him.

cousin jeffrey
Vile Weed

Posts: 1714

Reply: 10



PostPosted: April 2, 2005 3:13 PM 

that tennis remark was gold!

VegetableLasagna
Bubble Boy

Posts: 362

Reply: 11



PostPosted: April 2, 2005 10:07 PM 

He's been compared to Steven Wright. He does kind of just say the lines, but he does a couple longer stories, but mostly he just goes abruptly, like you said.

Check out those clips that the person a couple before me gave, from Comedy Central. They show you how he works. I'm going to be buying a few shirts of his, and I'm going to get his cd/dvd from amazon.com

rio
Latex Salesman

Posts: 347

Reply: 12



PostPosted: April 3, 2005 12:14 PM 

Jimmy,

I strongly recommend that you get your hands on his first album, "Strategic Grill Locations". His delivery in that album is his best, IMO. His second album, "Mitch Altogether" is also pretty good, but not nearly as funny as his first. Very different delivery, too.

Ass-Man
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 13



PostPosted: April 13, 2005 3:29 PM 

The best mitch hedberg joke is I met the lady at the double tree front desk and she gave me her number its zero I called it from here and some other lady answed and I was like you sound older

Epidoctor1
Low-Talker

Posts: 1

Reply: 14



PostPosted: July 15, 2005 1:18 PM 

Wow. Mitch must have had a hell of an impression on all of you. The last posting was April 13 before mine. It only took 14 days after his passing for you all to forget about him.

Much like his comedy...short lived.

this is frank costanza
Hipster Dufus

Posts: 49

Reply: 15



PostPosted: July 15, 2005 1:49 PM 

A dirth of posting does not necessarily equate memory loss, but one can never tell. Regardless, thanks for bumping this thread, I missed out on this guy and his demise entirely...I am now the owner of two albums via iTunes. I best get listening before I completely forget I own them or stop posting about them, whichever I can remember to do first.

VegetableLasagna
Bubble Boy

Posts: 362

Reply: 16



PostPosted: July 15, 2005 4:05 PM 


Epidoctor, you're a moron. There is no nicer way to put it. First off, it's a Seinfeld forum, secondly, other topics happen. You're welcome to keep this alive every day if you want.

Mitch still has an impression upon me, i=I listen to his comedy at least twice a week. Just this morning I watched his performance on Conan. Don't try and tell us that because we don't bump his thread on a forum, that he didn't have an impression upon us.


I have not forgotten him, nor will I ever. he is my favorite comedian. I visit his memorial message board often, usually every day. Please do not try and tell me that I have forgotten him, you have no idea what you are talking about.

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 17



PostPosted: July 15, 2005 6:53 PM 

Hey, VegetableLasagna!.... almost forgot about you.

Bookman
Condo Board President

Posts: 2988

Reply: 18



PostPosted: July 16, 2005 3:44 PM 

Newman died?

Ramon
Rabid Anti-Dentite

Posts: 292

Reply: 19



PostPosted: July 20, 2005 1:03 PM 

here's some more material. yes, mitch was great. rip mitch.

I want to be a rebellious McDonald's owner. Cheeseburgers... NOPE... we got spaghetti!

I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refridgerator, blender....all you do is say what the shiit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shiit fresh. Well that's a fresher....I'm going on break.

I got to write these jokes. So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.

You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.

This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I have to tell them something that is going on. "What time is it, Mitch?" "Uh, that guy is eating a hamburger." "Shit, I had to be somewhere..."

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...

I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".

My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.

I snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.

Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it though. One day I'm gonna though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.


Ramon
Rabid Anti-Dentite

Posts: 292

Reply: 20



PostPosted: July 20, 2005 1:10 PM 

here's more

A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, "Do you have coke in a glass harmonica? ...Do you have individually wrapped cashews?"

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

It's hard to dance if you just your lost wallet. "Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky..."

It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.

Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?

If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for... That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."

I wrote a letter to my dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so i crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad - there's a lot of shit you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away...

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get ahold of me they just say, "Mitch," and I say, "what" and turn my head slightly...

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

I like cinnimon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnimon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

People teach their dogs to sit, it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that day...

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

That would be cool if you could eat a good food with a bad food and the good food would cover for the bad food when it got to your stomach. Like you could eat a carrot with an onion ring and they would travel down to your stomach, then they would get there, and the carrot would say, "It's cool, he's with me."

If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptible...

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips...

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got half way. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.

Every time I go and shave, I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say, "I'm gonna go shave too."

Why are there no during pictures.

I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.

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