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My only friend, The End

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ScottyCougar







PostPosted: March 8, 2005 10:11 PM 

You might have noticed I haven't been doing my sit down routine these past few weeks. I have been reworking a project which has never stopped haunting me. Yes, my infamous finale script I posted about eight months ago. For those of you who read the first one, or those of you who never read it, it's much better now. It has something remotely resembling a plot now, and it's in true script format as per the script that came with the DVD gift set. I also added a considerable amount of material, and its about four acts now. I would estimate it would be about an hour long with commercials. Would anybody at all be interested in reading it? I promise this to you, I will never post anymore sit down observations if you indulge me on this. Do we have a deal?

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 1



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 7:08 AM 

You need to get laid.

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 2



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 7:21 AM 

How could it be better now? You were so convinced it was perfect and anyone who didn't agree was an idiot. I guess the idiots were right, it did suck...pretty much like anything else you've ever posted here.
Damn, you're pathetic.

Bookman
Condo Board President

Posts: 2988

Reply: 3



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 10:29 AM 

Poor bastard.

Ramon
Bubble Boy

Posts: 360

Reply: 4



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 12:37 PM 

it's like watching an animal being tortured.

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 5



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 1:38 PM 

Sometimes you just have to let these people hit rock bottom.

VegetableLasagna
Bubble Boy

Posts: 362

Reply: 6



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 4:48 PM 

I'd read it.

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 7



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 4:53 PM 

Of course you would. You know why? Because you're a Yuppie. It's your go-go-go corporate lifestyle that's going to drive all the real writers out of town.

moops
Pigman

Posts: 428

Reply: 8



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 5:16 PM 

Gendison, if only VegetableLasagna had written "And by then I've lost interest" in response to your post instead of what he posted... You provided the perfect straight line, just begging to be picked up and ran with... Oh, what could have been... Crying or Very Sad

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 9



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 5:45 PM 

Yes, I agree. It was a pretty big Mozza ball sitting there. I just hope Veg realises my last post was also a Seinfeld reference, not flamebate.

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 10



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 6:55 PM 

flamebait...whatevah.

ScottyCougar
Master of my Domain

Posts: 91

Reply: 11



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 7:29 PM 

Acts 1 and 2:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2297540/1/

Just think of me as Ed Wood, a guy with passion but no talent. Enjoy it in the way you would enjoy Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Gack
Wigmaster

Posts: 809

Reply: 12



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 8:25 PM 


i don't know. is this the same fella who did the afternoonquill bit?

i like stuff you don't have to think about.

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 13



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 9:21 PM 

It's actually not that bad, some good lines. I just found that there was too much time spent on "observations" (about crutons, etc...). It didn't double me over with laughter and I don't think it would be good enough to be a Seinfeld episode, but it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of. I hope I'm entitled to my opinion wthout being called an idiot for failiong to realise the genius behind it all.

Gack
Wigmaster

Posts: 809

Reply: 14



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 11:06 PM 


i'm with gendison on this one. was better than i expected, much more polished than some of your previous stuff, and a tad more clever in parts, also.... though there were problems, the biggest of which is that it sort of plays like a "seinfeld's greatest hits" show, where they keep recycling lines from previous episodes. i dunno, maybe that was your intention (well, obviously it was), but it seems sort of stitched together out of random parts, frankenstein-style. it would be better, i think, if you used what you know about the characters to create a fresh situation, with fresh dialogue.

i will give you a bonus credit, however, for the line, "good butter today." that's my kind of humour.

keep at it.

grade: C+

Bookman
Condo Board President

Posts: 2988

Reply: 15



PostPosted: March 9, 2005 11:41 PM 

A couple of weekends ago, CBS News Sunday Morning profiled a scriptwriting teacher named Robert McKee. You can google him if you're interested. His graduates have written for many hit TV shows, including Seinfeld.

His students show up for class with a movie or TV script they're trying to polish. And the first words out of his mouth are: "I don't have to read your script to know that it sucks."

He knows.

Gack
Wigmaster

Posts: 809

Reply: 16



PostPosted: March 10, 2005 12:46 AM 


mckee's strategy is to emulate other hits, known hits, which is just a euphemism for copying their formulas. granted, his students often go on to great things, but my guess is that none of them have a lot of -- as george would say -- artistic integrity. personally, i think you can learn all you need to know about writing formula fiction, be it in films, television, or books, simply by digesting a lot of it.

it all depends on whether you want to have a formula hit -- which is why there is so much bad television and so many crap movies -- or come up with something original, and therefore more artistic.

i write fiction, myself, and like everyone else, aspire to "make it" someday. but writing is creating, and creating is a pretty rad feeling, especially when you've created something that is completely your own. to me, there's no real point to writing anything if there isn't at least some semblance of originality inspiring it. i'd rather be the starving artist than the commercial wonderkind with no real talent.

and back to mckee, yeah, he knows what he's doing, but honestly, any one of us could hold the seminars he holds. all you have to be is a fan of movies, or tv, or whatever. you know what works. if you really want to be inspired, i'd suggest forgeting about things like writing workshops and instead look for other people who are into what you're into. get together in a coffeeshop or someone's apartment, and just go through each other's scripts or what have you. nothing is more inspiring than being around other writers.

think about it. you go to a mckee lecture, you're surrounded by three hundred other aspiring writers, all of you with scripts that you want to share with others, and what do you do? you listen to a man talk about proper three-act story arcs, symbollism, and all the rest.

no thanks.

but hey, that's me.

Bookman
Condo Board President

Posts: 2988

Reply: 17



PostPosted: March 10, 2005 12:08 PM 

Who wants to go to a McKee lecture? I'm not recommending the weasel, I'm just quoting him.

And by the same token, what kind of loser wants to post his creative work online? I don't have to read ScottyCouger's script to know it sucks.

Ramon
Bubble Boy

Posts: 360

Reply: 18



PostPosted: March 10, 2005 12:22 PM 

you've developed quite the acid tongue lately, Bookman.

VegetableLasagna
Bubble Boy

Posts: 362

Reply: 19



PostPosted: March 10, 2005 3:27 PM 

GEORGE

Can you imagine how a dead person’s breath would smell after years of decomposing?

JERRY

Corpses don’t typically do a lot of breathing.


Haha, that got a good laugh out of me. I don't remember you're first attempt, but this one is decent.


BTW, yea I got it Gendison, and that was the first thing I had though of moops, but you already wrote it there. Damn.

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 20



PostPosted: March 10, 2005 5:55 PM 

Jimmy refuses to take part. He sucked before, he sucks now, and he'll keep on suckin'

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