Seinfeld DVD Complete Series Box Set

Seinfeld Script Search:

Newman the negotiator

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lovin' every minute of it

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 9:40 AM 

I was watching The Barber episode the other day and when Newman negotiated with Enzo for a years worth of haircuts in exchange for getting a sample of Jerry’s hair, I realized that he has made similar deals in other episodes. I could think of two other scenarios but I’ll give others a chance to list them. How many instances can we list where Newman has made a deal ?

Enzo: How'd you like to have free haircuts for six months.
Newman: What's the catch?
Enzo: You're going to get me a sample of Jerry's hair.
Newman: Hmm, that job sounds like it might be worth a year's free haircuts and a comb.

Latex Salesman

Posts: 347

Reply: 1

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 10:01 AM 

Ha! The Calzone.

Newman: Well, for starters, I want a calzone of my own.
George: ok.
Newman: ...and a large drink.

Newman: And two times a week I shall require a Canolli.
George: That's a little steep, don't you think?
Newman: Well, I hear Mr. Steinbrener can be a bit irrational... I'd hate to see him when he's hungry.
George: Alright, alright!!!

(it's probably not word for word, but it came from memory)

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 2

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 11:00 AM 

He made a deal (swap) with Kramer....radar detector for a helmet.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 3

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 11:05 AM 

Oh Wait! Even better, the birthday wishes.

Kramer needed Newman's wish (to not drop dead) so Newmie bargains for Kramer's next 50 wishes...


Denim Vest
Cockeyed Optimist

Posts: 551

Reply: 4

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 11:06 AM 

Rio, You forgot the slice of Pepperoni Pizza also.


lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 5

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 11:15 AM 

Oh yeah, good ones. And after the deal for the birthday wishes, Newman and Kramer call each other a sucker. Laughing

J. Chiles

Posts: 5139

Reply: 6

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 12:31 PM 

He allows Kramer to join him in the planning of Millenium festivites, but only in exchange for cubed ice!

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 7

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 1:06 PM 

He gets Jerry to deliver the mail he has been stockpiling in order to assist him in getting a transfer to Hawaii.


Posts: 428

Reply: 8

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 1:10 PM 

Then there's that muffin-like treat (I forget its name) he acquired from Jerry at the hospital, in exchange for not telling the coma guy about Jerry and the coma guy's girlfriend... "is this the proper venue?"

J. Chiles

Posts: 5139

Reply: 9

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 1:13 PM 

He agrees to do the dirty deed for Elaine, but only to sate his craven desire for punishing dogs. EHHHHHXCELLENT! Smile

Denim Vest
Cockeyed Optimist

Posts: 551

Reply: 10

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 1:18 PM 

Drakes Coffee Cake, Moops.

"Yep, That's your big boy."

Newman woos Pam through Kramer with his Poetic Prowess. That one is on right now as I type.


Other Walter

Posts: 650

Reply: 11

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 10:18 PM 

He and Kramer take Jerry's records off his hands free of charge.
Sergio Mendez!

Tor Eckman

Posts: 72

Reply: 12

PostPosted: September 8, 2004 11:56 PM 

How about the one where Newman comes in to the eat all the muffin stumps? He requires a clean 8 oz. glass and then goes to work pouring milk and eating stumps. I think he made some kind of deal for this.

Other Walter

Posts: 650

Reply: 13

PostPosted: September 9, 2004 11:33 AM 

After Kramer, Jerry goes down to Newman's to negotiate for help with Pam in exchange for Jery giving Newman some insider information about Elaine. They both end up in the doctor's office waiting for vasectomies.


Posts: 27

Reply: 14

PostPosted: September 9, 2004 11:18 PM 

How about when Newmen decides who gets the bike, Elaine or Kramer.

Assistant to the Traveling Secretary

Posts: 135

Reply: 15

PostPosted: September 10, 2004 9:45 PM 

Kramer: Sweet Justice! Newman has spoken..
El: But this is stupid..My neck still hurts.
K: Tell it to the judge!

Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 16

PostPosted: September 10, 2004 9:50 PM 

I'm probably stating the obvious, but for those who don;t know...that whole scene is based on a Bible story... I'm too lazy to give the details right now, but if anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about and wants to know, I'll gladly post the quote from the Bible that this episode refers to.

Assistant to the Traveling Secretary

Posts: 135

Reply: 17

PostPosted: September 11, 2004 2:34 PM 

I feel I'm getting too loose with my exclamation points. I need to reign myself in a bit!

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Copyright ©2003, Mark Carey.