Seinfeld DVD Complete Series Box Set

Seinfeld Script Search:

Obviously, the calibre of dialogue

Author Message

PostPosted: February 28, 2004 11:30 AM 

Obviously, the calibre of dialogue was one of the main things that separated Seinfeld from most other TV shows (past and present). And while there is a Seinfeld Quotes page here on this blog, I'm really curious to see what everyone's favorite examples of dialogue might be. Me, every time I watch an episode of this show, I find something new or remember a line or exchange that leaves me shaking my head at the brilliance of these writers. I usually find the more subtle, obscure jokes to be the funniest, even though they're likely often overlooked. So I thought I'd throw this into the mix for anyone who comes across certain bits of dialogue that they find particularly hilarious and feel they just need to share. To begin, my all-time favorite Seinfeld exchange:

George: How was Eric Roberts as the husband?

Kramer: Oh, unforgettable!

(From 'The Comeback')

Little Jerry Seinfeld

Posts: 33

Reply: 1

PostPosted: February 28, 2004 12:24 PM 

In 'The Blood', Jerry's parents are telling him how he is getting fat. Then Morty says to eat a plum. Later in the episode, Jerry is talking to both parents on their seperate phones, and as Jerry hangs up, you can hear Morty cry out 'Pluuuum'. Hillarious!!

Also in the same episode, Kramer says to Jerry "You know for a fat guy, your not very jolly" I missed it the first couple times I saw the episode, then I caught it and I died for about 10 minutes.

Great writing there.


Posts: 10

Reply: 2

PostPosted: February 28, 2004 7:04 PM 

The Serenity Now Read the script of The Serenity Now Download the full epiosde video of The Serenity Now Discuss The Serenity Now ,which I just watched:

FRANK: It was
called The Net, with that girl from the bus.



Posts: 809

Reply: 3

PostPosted: February 29, 2004 12:10 AM 

that's a great one, muchachos. one of my personal faves.

Jerry: They're saying I'm responsible for the couch?

Elaine: There was nothing I could do! He said he had a Federal Express slip with your signature on it!

Jerry: Diabolical!

(From 'The Doorman')


Sohpie: I move my knight here. Check.

Jerry: They should update these pieces. Nobody rides horses anymore. Maybe they should change it to a tractor.

Sophie: Jerry, are you embarrassed that you're losing?

Jerry: Losing? You know, yesterday I lost control of my car, almost bought the farm.

Sophie: Bought the farm?

Jerry: Tractor!

(From 'The Burning')


Posts: 10

Reply: 4

PostPosted: February 29, 2004 10:13 AM 

This one's not exactly dialogue, but I dunno if anyone else has noticed that in the ep. The Robbery Read the script of The Robbery Download the full epiosde video of The Robbery Discuss The Robbery , Elaine stays in Jerry's apartment, and Jerry says something like "If you must have sex, do us all a favour and do it in the bathtub".

Then in The English Patient Read the script of The English Patient Download the full epiosde video of The English Patient Discuss The English Patient , Elaine says after watching the movie "Sex in a tub, that doesn't work."

That is quality writing.


Posts: 10

Reply: 5

PostPosted: February 29, 2004 10:15 AM 

Doh! It was in the episode summary Rolling Eyes

Other Walter

Posts: 650

Reply: 6

PostPosted: February 29, 2004 1:18 PM 

"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You get a sense of it and then look away"
Jerry to George after George gets caught ogling Dalrimple's daughter


Posts: 152

Reply: 7

PostPosted: February 29, 2004 5:52 PM 

Newman "From what I hear the Serbs are fanatical about their showers."

Jerry "Not from the footage I've seen"


Posts: 809

Reply: 8

PostPosted: March 2, 2004 7:05 AM 

a few more...


George: She called. He yelled 'Cartwright.'

Jerry: Who's Cartwright?

George: I'm Cartwright.

Jerry: You're not Cartwright.

George: Of course I'm not Cartwright!

(From 'The Chinese Restaurant')


George: She is really cool. What do you think? You think she likes me?

Jerry: Ah, I shoulda got the egg-white omelet.

George: Aw, why should she like me? Who am I? There's a million people to like.

Jerry: The omelet. Damn.

(From 'The Soup')


George: Three pints of Kramer's blood?

Jerry: I can feel his blood inside of me. Borrowing things from my blood.

(From 'The Blood')


Posts: 34

Reply: 9

PostPosted: March 5, 2004 1:16 PM 

MY Fav exchange

George: What *kind* of a person are you?

Jerry: I think I'm pretty much like you-- only successful.

Little Jerry Seinfeld

Posts: 33

Reply: 10

PostPosted: March 5, 2004 3:48 PM 

From 'The Bizarro Jerry'

Jerry: What do you do down there all day?

Kramer: T.C.B... You know, taking care of business.

Other Walter

Posts: 650

Reply: 11

PostPosted: March 10, 2004 8:16 PM 

GEORGE: I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed Fair Game. I thought it was just brilliant.

ALTON: Drivel.

GEORGE: Maybe some parts.

ALTON: What parts?

GEORGE: The drivel parts...
George's fear and hesitation drives the scene-hysterical!

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 12

PostPosted: March 15, 2004 1:53 PM 

Kramer: The whole match lasted only 2 seconds!
Jerry: How long do they normally last?
Kramer: 5 seconds! (answered it rather immediately too) Laughing

Join the discussion:

Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very Sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Powered by MTSmileys

Copyright ©2003, Mark Carey.