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Bookman







PostPosted: September 22, 2005 1:24 PM 

"New Vatican Rule Said to Bar Gays as New Priests"

Any comments?

I don't know why Catholics need a middleman for guidance or salvation.

PRIEST: "I'll talk to My Boss." (Exits, stage left, and returns a few minutes later.) "Well, He never done this before. But, seein' as it's special circumstances and all, He says I can knock a hundred dollars off that TruCoat."

cousin jeffrey
Pimple Popper, MD

Posts: 1841

Reply: 1



PostPosted: September 22, 2005 6:54 PM 

I think the scariest thing about being a Catholic Priest would be finding out that the Jews really are God's people. Imagine a Catholic Priest devotes his whole life to the church, dies, he's at the gates of heaven:

"How was I supposed to know?!?! C'mon, man!"

Gack
Wigmaster

Posts: 847

Reply: 2



PostPosted: September 22, 2005 7:38 PM 


dies laughing at the trucoat.

Bookman
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3247

Reply: 3



PostPosted: September 23, 2005 10:53 AM 

"After Katrina's Lesson, Bush is Heading to Texas"

Can anybody spell CYA?

I hope he stops at the ranch for a little R & R. I really, really do.


Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 4



PostPosted: September 23, 2005 11:12 AM 

"Clinton, Lewinsky Brand Condoms Marketed"
"Clinton Condom Higher Quality Than Lewinsky"

"A Chinese rubber products company is now marketing prophylactics with the brand names Clinton and Lewinsky. As part of a promotion, Guangzhou Rubber Group will be handing out 100,000 free condoms...

"Spokesman Liu Wenhua said the company had chosen to use the Bill Clinton name because consumers viewed the 42nd president as a responsible person, who would want to stress safe sex as an effective way to prevent the spread of the HIV virus."


Give me nineteen hundred dollars' worth.

Bookman
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3247

Reply: 5



PostPosted: September 23, 2005 11:14 AM 

(That was supposed to have my byline.)

Jimmy
Pensky Material

Posts: 4301

Reply: 6



PostPosted: September 23, 2005 9:03 PM 

Do they come in a 12DD? Cool

Gack
Wigmaster

Posts: 847

Reply: 7



PostPosted: September 23, 2005 10:47 PM 


handing out free condoms? don't those chinese rubberheads know that free condoms promote premarital sex and actually increase the chances of people acquiring sexually transmitted diseases?

i'm calling the reverend falwell!

Bookman
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3247

Reply: 8



PostPosted: September 24, 2005 10:28 PM 

"Waste Is a Terrible Thing to Mind"

"A substitute teacher has been told not to come back to a Wichita school, after she told misbehaving students to clean up the mess left when someone defecated in the back of a fourth-grade classroom."

Am I crazy, or did this substitute teacher get a raw deal? Make all the little bastards clean it up. That would put a stop to that kind of crap.

J. Chiles


Posts: 5078

Reply: 9



PostPosted: September 24, 2005 10:36 PM 

With their tongues.

Jimmy
Pensky Material

Posts: 4301

Reply: 10



PostPosted: September 24, 2005 10:44 PM 

Did they know how to use a mop wringer?

Bookman
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3247

Reply: 11



PostPosted: September 24, 2005 10:47 PM 

They weren't too young to learn. Learn something useful, too.

J. Chiles


Posts: 5078

Reply: 12



PostPosted: September 24, 2005 11:00 PM 

I hear thee.

Jimmy
Pensky Material

Posts: 4301

Reply: 13



PostPosted: September 24, 2005 11:16 PM 

This whole story reminds me of how when we were young, we didn't have any concept of our rights, and how easy it would've been to refuse someone's orders simply because they were older and bigger than us. We stayed after school for misbehaving and wrote things like "I will not chew gum in class" 200 times on the blackboard, or were paddled, etc. But we soon grew up and realizd how easy it would've been to simply say... "uh... no, but thanks anyway teach... I'm going home. That was the bell that just rang, and I'm not a criminal and you're not a cop or my legal guardian. See ya!"

I'm not saying whether or not she was right or wrong, but the kids didn't have to do it, and if they'd known better and simply refused, they wouldn't have to grow up one day and regret their fear of her.

Bookman
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3247

Reply: 14



PostPosted: September 24, 2005 11:25 PM 

Putting aside whether she was right or wrong, kids ought to fear authority figures, at least somewhat. You can't always trust kids to do the right thing simply because it's the right thing. Some kids are troublemakers; there's no hope for them. But the rest of the kids will conform because they don't want to get into trouble. They're afraid of going to the principal's office, and they should be. They're afraid of what their parents are going to do, and they should be. Fear of authority figures, fear of getting into trouble is one of the ways society maintains some kind of order without having to post policemen inside every home, school, grocery store, church, etc.

Jimmy
Pensky Material

Posts: 4301

Reply: 15



PostPosted: September 24, 2005 11:44 PM 

Agreed. But I'm talking about older and bigger people's intimidation just for the sake of intimidation, not to teach tem anything. Not just teachers, but older kids, older siblings, etc.

Having to stand in front of your classmates with your gum on your nose is absurd. I wish I could go back and laugh at such things being ordered upon me and walk away. My life would be exactly the same today.

If my kid cleaned up another students crap, I'd tell him to refuse any further punishments from that teach and to inform her to contact me regarding any future issues.

Bookman
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3247

Reply: 16



PostPosted: September 25, 2005 12:01 AM 

I dig what you're layin' down.

Jimmy
Pensky Material

Posts: 4301

Reply: 17



PostPosted: September 25, 2005 12:36 AM 

Oh yeah, I've been known to chew a stick of gum or two. But then again, I've been known to do a lot of things (chugs down beer with a mouth full of bubble gum and chokes).

Bookman
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3247

Reply: 18



PostPosted: September 26, 2005 12:20 PM 

"Sopranos Actor Pastore to Plead Guilty"

"Vincent Pastore, who played gangster Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero on HBO's 'The Sopranos,' has agreed to plead guilty to a charge that he attempted to assault a former girlfriend last spring."

Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter....'s wedding.................on the day of your daughter's wedding. And I hope their first child be a masculine child. I pledge my ever-ending loyalty.

Bookman
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3247

Reply: 19



PostPosted: September 26, 2005 9:24 PM 

"To Conserve Gas, President Calls for Less Driving"

Hey, that's quite a leap for you, Mr. President, going from gasoline conservation all the way to driving less. That's a lot o' thinkin', meatball.

Marcelino
Wealthy Industrialist

Posts: 474

Reply: 20



PostPosted: September 27, 2005 9:25 AM 

"Bush plea for cash to rebuild Iraq raises $600"

excellent, excellent work mr. president.

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