SEINFELD BLOG

I am going to be the world's first sit down comedian. You have all these comics standing up, I'm gonna sit down. They're wasting all their energy walking around, moving the microphone, but I'll exert all my energy on my jokes. Therefore, my act will be better, as I am entirely focused on the material, rather than supporting myself with my legs. Imagine it, you know, I'm up there, SITTING, in a big recliner, and I got a bowl of popcorn, but I'm doing my act. This works...in theory. Of course, in theory communism worked. But I think thiss'll work: Sit Down comedy.

You're about thirty years too late with that bit, Scotty. Go get a job.

Well, with theories like that, you'd better learn to be a throw-down comedian, too.

Next thing you know, he'll be coming on here and saying "Take my wife..........Please!... Take her!"

Ladies and germs... I just flew in from Buffalo and boy are my arms tired!

Or, my name is Scotty G. Cougar. C-o-u-g-a-r, period. And the "G" stands for "Gotta get some originality!"

@moops (laughing way too loud and hard) Ha ha ha ha!!! That's killer! Killer! I love that! Ha ha ha!!! You gotta use that, that's a definite!! Ha ha ha!!!

Jose, you been hangin' out with Scotty?

I'm sorry...this isn't an original idea?

I play hockey. For years, they were always telling me that I'm a "Stay at home" defensemen. Those of you who know a bit about hockey will be familiar with that expression. Unfortunately, in my case, it's because every time I touch the puck, everyone wishes I would have just stayed home....I just made that up, am I genius in my own mind, too?