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some new jokes

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SpacePlefka







PostPosted: March 3, 2004 3:07 PM 

Hey all!

I have some new jokes! Smile

Here is one:

What´s the deal with the public water dispensers in super markets?
I have never seen anyone drinking from them in my entire life!
That´s because it´s filthy water and everybody knows it!
The hygiene institute was sent to test those water dispensers and they found many germs in them!
But everybody knew it before the hygiene institute actually confirmed it.
That´s cause they fill the bottle with water once and just leave it so.
It just stands there! No service at all!
No one has ever seen a guy changing the water!
Well, there´s no need for it, no one drinks it anyway.
Since you can buy different varitys of drinks in the shop there is no one who wants to drink water from a dispenser where any stranger could have put his hand on it and which isn´t even cooled.
They could atleast put some plastic fishes into the water, then it would look like something.

But if they served free fresh coffee I would stop there for a while…
…and most likely go shopping with my friends more often.
That would have a really positive aspect!
You see what your friend is buying. That can be really interesting!
You may see things you have never noticed before, for example spices.
But now there you see that your friend is buying it you get curious about it.
That´s how I got in touch with French Tarragon. You don´t know French Tarragon?
Then you better go shopping with friends! They give you new ideas for preparing meals!
But sometimes you would go like, “what, you eat that? I wouldn´t even touch it!”
When you are lucky you are shopping with someone who is easy to manipulate.
When you want to try crackers with a new flavour you go like, “hey, look at those! I heard they are really tasty!” so your friend gets curious about it and buys the crackers and you can test them for free…or you walk through the magazines section and go like, “there is the magazine with those many interesting articles in it. I can highly recommend it…when you are done with it let me know!”
…and after that a free coffee at the coffee bar! That would save you a lot of money!
And you would meet a lot of women there!
You could start a conversation while drinking your coffee and later help bring her shopping to the car.
That would be a really nice start and your chances would be higher when you ask her out.
That is a nice imagination to me! Shopping would be really great!

But instead of that they have a water dispenser which is probably only used when a customer becomes unconscious cause of his shopping bill and you need to pour water on his face, I don´t know!


For more jokes ( i already have 9 !!! weeeeee)klick HERE

SpacePlefka
Low-Talker

Posts: 9

Reply: 1



PostPosted: March 3, 2004 3:27 PM 

I forgot to say something...

Feel free to tell me your favourite joke!
Thanks

bill k
Superman

Posts: 114

Reply: 2



PostPosted: March 4, 2004 4:26 AM 

horrible.

Gack
Wigmaster

Posts: 809

Reply: 3



PostPosted: March 4, 2004 8:09 AM 

lol @ bill

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 4



PostPosted: March 4, 2004 12:02 PM 

Oy. Do any of the remaining nine have to do with a guy who is sentenced to be a butler?

rio
Latex Salesman

Posts: 347

Reply: 5



PostPosted: March 4, 2004 2:18 PM 

For some reason this makes me think of The Summer of George Read the script of The Summer of George Download the full epiosde video of The Summer of George Discuss The Summer of George :

G: What's the deal with those guys down in the pit?

J: They're musicians. That's not a joke.

G: It's a funny observation.

rio
Latex Salesman

Posts: 347

Reply: 6



PostPosted: March 4, 2004 2:19 PM 

For some reason this makes me think of The Summer of George Read the script of The Summer of George Download the full epiosde video of The Summer of George Discuss The Summer of George :

G: What's the deal with those guys down in the pit?

J: They're musicians. That's not a joke.

G: It's a funny observation.

rio
Latex Salesman

Posts: 347

Reply: 7



PostPosted: March 4, 2004 2:20 PM 

damn double post!

Stan The Caddy
Pigman

Posts: 428

Reply: 8



PostPosted: March 4, 2004 5:27 PM 

Yeah, I know. I am try to fix those double posts....

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 9



PostPosted: March 5, 2004 8:58 AM 

Strange, when I open this topic, I see advertisements for water dispensers on the right side of my screen.

Other Walter
Rageaholic

Posts: 650

Reply: 10



PostPosted: March 5, 2004 7:49 PM 

The way I found to avoid double posts is to hold down the back button menu and select the general forum rather than just clicking the back button.

SpacePlefka
Low-Talker

Posts: 9

Reply: 11



PostPosted: March 9, 2004 8:07 AM 

lol @ rio

how about this one:

What´s the deal with fast food?
Nowadays, it isnt very fast!
Usually, there are fatlazy guys behind the counter who you cant even understand, so that takes time! And you can´t even get to the counter directly. There are always like 5 customers infront of you. They have to deal with that guy behind the counter first!
Then they screw up your order! They are like, “What did you have again?”
And very often your favourite burger hasn´t even been prepared yet, so you have to wait some time.
So it´s definately not very fast…like for example mcdonald´s…you know how they have golden arches? They should be called the bronze arches, because that´s what the service is like…and Burger King should be Burger Prince!
…and what is the point of the drive-thru anyways?
It takes even longer to get the food there!
The customers at the counter inside get served faster and the people in the cars have to wait.
Well, it´s not that mcdonald´s wants to give you a nice service there. If you would ask them, they told you that it´s a better service for getting your food without the need looking for a parking space.
But they only think like, “Take your burgers and get the hell outta here, we don´t want you to get our tables and seats dirty with our sloppy burgers!”
That might be the reason for them to call it fast food!
“Here is your burger and now get outta here, FAST!”

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 12



PostPosted: March 9, 2004 12:05 PM 

No offense in general, but don't give up your day job. Way too wordy and not all that original. Sorry

SpacePlefka
Low-Talker

Posts: 9

Reply: 13



PostPosted: March 9, 2004 4:00 PM 

Thank you for our opinion. Well i tried it just for fun. I had some ideas and tried to write them down in a funny way. I am aware that i am not able to earn money with it.
Well, maybe some day I will get better!?

SpacePlefka
Low-Talker

Posts: 9

Reply: 14



PostPosted: March 16, 2004 2:19 AM 

Ok, here are two short ones:

There are two ways to say yes. When you are at work and your boss asks you to do somethin you go like, “Yes.”
If it would be a more positive thing you are talking about you would go like, “Yeaaaah!”
It´s more emotional.
So you can see how good your girlfriend is feeling when you are talking to her!
Make sure you hear a lot of “yeaaaaaaaaaaahs”, otherwise if you ask her if you continue seeing each other you could get a looong “noooo”.
But not every long yeah is positive. Sometimes, for example when a woman you don´t like very much asks you to go out with her and you can´t say no cause you don´t want to hurt her you have to go "Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...of course. That´s a nice idea!"


What´s the deal with Fanta Blue Berry?
It doesn´t taste like blue berries.
In fact that Fanta is blue! Blue berries aren´t blue although they are called blue berries. So what is it supposed to taste like since there are no blue fruits?
Well, I think they made it blue that they can invent any taste they want!
You don´t know how it is supposed to taste like and when it´s good you don’t care if it tastes like real fruits or not.
So the color blue is the joker for flavours!
When they are in development of a new product and they created something they don´t know what it tastes like, they go, “Ok guys, let´s make it blue and give it a nice name. That will work out!”

Gack
Wigmaster

Posts: 809

Reply: 15



PostPosted: March 16, 2004 5:56 AM 

uh...

sean
Low-Talker

Posts: 2

Reply: 16



PostPosted: June 2, 2004 7:21 PM 

it was not even funny at all it realy stunk

sean
Low-Talker

Posts: 2

Reply: 17



PostPosted: June 2, 2004 7:21 PM 

it was not even funny at all it realy stunk

Shad
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 18



PostPosted: June 2, 2004 8:34 PM 

i'm in two minds as to whether its a serious attempt or sending up stand up comedy by being intentionally atrocious

Erik
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 19



PostPosted: June 2, 2004 10:41 PM 

HOw old are you?

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 20



PostPosted: June 3, 2004 1:17 AM 

LOL!! There was a time when you had to be GOOD to get your material heard. Now with the internet, the whole world can witness a newbie comic crash and burn.

Ooouch!

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