Seinfeld

SEINFELD BLOG

Seinfeld DVD Complete Series Box Set

Seinfeld Script Search:

The Beard

1 | 2 Next
Author Message
Stan The Caddy







PostPosted: September 18, 2003 11:28 PM 

gs: Jon Gries (Rusty) Robert Mailhouse (Robert) Katherine LaNasa (Cathy) Edward Winter (Mr. Stevenson) Georgann Johnson (Mrs. Stevenson) Joan Elizabeth (Denise) John F. O'Donohue (Gus) Jerry Diner (Lou) Mirron E. Willis (Officer #1) Ken Kerman (Officer #2)

Elaine tries to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. George, who's wearing now wearing his toupee discovers that the woman Kramer has set him up with, is bald. Kramer gives a homeless man some Chinese food and begins standing in police lineups for $50 a lineup. Jerry begins to date a cop, but she wants him to take a lie detector test, she thinks he is lying about NOT watching Melrose Place.

b: 09-Feb-95 pc: 615 w: Carol Leifer d: Andy Ackerman

Peterman
Germaphobe

Posts: 31

Reply: 1



PostPosted: February 24, 2004 7:31 PM 

George's advice to Jerry on how to beat the lie detector test was gold...

"It's not a lie if you believe it!"

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 2



PostPosted: April 15, 2004 1:53 PM 

Nobody walks into a beauty parlor and asks for the Larry Fine!

Jakester
Low-Talker

Posts: 11

Reply: 3



PostPosted: April 21, 2004 10:42 PM 

i loved that episode Shocked

F. Costanza
Anti-Dentite

Posts: 249

Reply: 4



PostPosted: April 22, 2004 8:42 AM 


George: "Her scalp was clean. She had a nice skull. There just wasn't a lot of hair on it."

Jerry: "Yeah you've had like a religious awakening. You're like a bald-again."


Laughing

Adam
Low-Talker

Posts: 3

Reply: 5



PostPosted: May 14, 2004 6:38 PM 

When Elaine grabs George's toupee and runs towards the window and yells "I don't like this thing!" you can hear Jason Alexander laugh just once, and then stifle it, just before yelling "No!"

caleb
Low-Talker

Posts: 5

Reply: 6



PostPosted: June 1, 2004 7:59 PM 

hey does anyone know the episode where elaine has that boyfriend she wants to get rid of, so she buys a new alarm clock to make sure hell make his flight, and it ends up messing up and she tries to rush him to the airport

Anonymous
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 7



PostPosted: July 23, 2004 10:58 PM 

what does beard mean?

nobody
Low-Talker

Posts: 1

Reply: 8



PostPosted: July 24, 2004 5:38 AM 

Does anyone know who was the Jerry's girlfriend in this episode? You know, with the lie detector.
In the script it says her name is "Tierney" but it doesn't give her real name in the script credit like the others.

"At the police station.

Jerry: What's that?

Tierney: A polygraph. It's what you civilians call a lie detector test.

Jerry: Oh. Let me ask you, when someone is lying, is it true that their pants are actually on fire?"
http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBeard.htm

thanks

nobody
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 9



PostPosted: July 24, 2004 5:39 AM 

Does anyone know who was the Jerry's girlfriend in this episode? You know, with the lie detector.
In the script it says her name is "Tierney" but it doesn't give her real name in the script credit like the others.

"At the police station.

Jerry: What's that?

Tierney: A polygraph. It's what you civilians call a lie detector test.

Jerry: Oh. Let me ask you, when someone is lying, is it true that their pants are actually on fire?"
http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBeard.htm

thanks

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 10



PostPosted: July 27, 2004 8:12 AM 

As far as the actress playing Tierney, my guess is that it is the person listed as Cathy (Katherine LaNasa). The credits list a Cathy but the script never refers to a Cathy speaking, only a Sergeant Tierney. I assume Tierney is her last name.

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 11



PostPosted: July 27, 2004 8:13 AM 

Beard in this episode refers to Elaine pretending to be the date for a gay man so that the gay man’s boss doesn’t think that the gay man is actually gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Hope that made sense. Smile

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 12



PostPosted: July 27, 2004 8:14 AM 

Back to the Tierney question. Maybe you could try and find a picture of Katherine LaNasa on the web and see if she looks like Tierney.

Bert Harbinson
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 13



PostPosted: November 14, 2004 1:24 PM 

Katherine Lanasa is definately SGT. Cathy Tierney. Saw this on TV Tome:

http://www.tvtome.com/images/people/7/8/32-2792-sm.jpg

Even better looking now than 10 years ago. WOW!

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 14



PostPosted: November 15, 2004 1:18 PM 

thanks for the update Bert Smile

Bob Cobb
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 15



PostPosted: March 4, 2005 1:45 PM 

Katherine Lanasa is the ex wife of Dennis Hopper and the current wife of Frenchie Stewart. Could you find more diverse taste in men ?

matcak
Low-Talker

Posts: 10

Reply: 16



PostPosted: June 13, 2005 8:26 AM 

A 'beard' is a kind of imposter or one who impersonates another. Undercover of a beard.

Slippery Pete
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 17



PostPosted: December 31, 2005 9:53 PM 

The strange looking fellow that Kramer suggests is the culprit while standing in the line up the second time is Seinfeld writer Bruce Kirschbaum

donna chang
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 18



PostPosted: January 1, 2006 3:56 AM 

To answer Caleb's question- the episode with the boyfriend from Seattle (the pesto of cities) when her alarm doesn't go off is the Busboy. And a beard is exactly wha Elaine was- a woman that acts as a date for a gay man to conceal is "orientation"

Matt
Low-Talker

Posts: 1

Reply: 19



PostPosted: February 16, 2006 4:04 AM 

I lived for Melrose Place back in the day, so this episode was my shit. The best part though is the throwaway bit with Elaine saying her drink was "terrible". Jerry's little speech on shaking it up was hysterical. I interpreted it as a masturbation joke with the wrist movement and the "This is killing me.." bit. Other's have said that it isn't that deep. Which is it?

Curly
Son of Dad

Posts: 1410

Reply: 20



PostPosted: February 16, 2006 6:17 AM 

It isnt that deep. It's just about shaking.

1 | 2 Next

Join the discussion:
















Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very Sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Powered by MTSmileys








Copyright ©2003, Mark Carey.