Seinfeld DVD Complete Series Box Set

Seinfeld Script Search:

The Glasses

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Stan The Caddy

PostPosted: September 16, 2003 6:40 PM 

gs: Timothy Stack (Dwayne) Anna Gunn (Amy) Tom Towles (Tough Guy) Rance Howard (Blind Man) Michael Saad (Doctor) Len Lesser (Uncle Leo)

George's glasses are stolen and he needs a new pair, so he goes to see Kramer's friend to get a thirty percent discount; all Elaine gets is bitten by a dog and then she becomes afraid of them. While not wearing his glasses, George thinks he sees Jerry's girlfriend kissing Jerry's cousin and Jerry tries to figure out if it's true.

b: 30-Sep-93 pc: 502 w: Tom Gammill & Max Pross d: Tom Cherones

NOTE: Dedicated "In Memory of our Friend John Oteri". John was one of the production assistants on the previous seasons.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 1

PostPosted: October 15, 2003 3:29 PM 

Just wanted to point out that the blind man is played by the same actor who plays the farmer ("only got one rule keep your hands off my daughter") in the second half of The Bottle Deposits.

Nick Mahendrran

Posts: 2

Reply: 2

PostPosted: December 30, 2003 7:00 PM 

this is the 1st time i actually heard some one swear on seinfeld.

GEORGE: Yeah. Boy these really do pinch. I tell you, if I ever find the son of a bitch that stole my glasses..

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 3

PostPosted: December 31, 2003 3:05 PM 

Did you ever see The Hot Tub Read the script of The Hot Tub Download the full epiosde video of The Hot Tub Discuss The Hot Tub ?

George and three other men are drinking)

CLAYTON: 'Till this bastard over here (Points) says: "Let's call the sons o'bitches and go visit 'em on New York!" (The three men laugh)

GEORGE: (smiling) Well, we're certainly glad that you could make it.

GARDNER: I like your organization, George. We've been talkin' to a really friendly son of a bitch in the front office. Wilhelm, I think his name.

GEORGE: Oh yes, Mr.Wilhelm, yeah..

GARDNER: He told us that George Costanza was gonna be takin' us bastards out on the town. (The three men laugh again) I said: "That son of a bitch doesn't know what he's got in store for him!". (The three men laugh once more)

ZEKE: Finish your drink?

GEORGE: Oh yeah, al-almost. Almost.

ZEKE: Let's get that bastard bring us another round! (waves to bartender)

CLAYTON: You a big drinker, George?

GEORGE: (Getting into the way they talk) Well.. maybe not as much as this bastard! (Points at Zeke. They all laugh) I can hold my own! (They all continue laughing and drinking)

And there's more of this later in the episode.


Posts: 4

Reply: 4

PostPosted: January 10, 2004 5:41 AM 

Reply to Joe Bob Sakamano - The "Farmer / Blind Man" is Rance Howard. Ron Howard's father.

Hipster Dufus

Posts: 52

Reply: 5

PostPosted: February 25, 2004 12:41 PM 

"The Glasses" aired before the "The Hot Tub" But I have to admit there was a lot of swearing in the hot tub. of course, today, you can get away with(saying) anything on tv. But back then, its was rare to hear that mcuh swearing on network television with no censoring. I wonder if NBC had problems with it initially

bill k

Posts: 114

Reply: 6

PostPosted: February 26, 2004 7:00 PM 


J. Chiles

Posts: 5139

Reply: 7

PostPosted: March 25, 2004 1:21 PM 

Kramer (to George as he holds a bag of chips): May I have one of those, madam?

George: Madam? Why are you calling me madam?

KRAMER: These are ladies' glasses. See it's right here - The Gloria Vanderbilt Collection.

When Kramer asks the "madam" question, I still fall off my chair, having heard the line countless times.

F. Costanza

Posts: 249

Reply: 8

PostPosted: March 25, 2004 2:54 PM 

KRAMER: Remember this?

DWAYNE: What are you doing?

KRAMER: Six months ago you were eating four of those for breakfast and chasing it with a ring ding. And two butter fingers on the train. Sounds familiar?

DWAYNE: Put that away!

KRAMER: Remember that night I found you at Dinky Donuts? You were all hopped up on cinnamon swirls! They wouldn't serve you anymore! You wouldn't even have any teeth if it wasn't for me taking you over to Joe's fruit stand and stuff a cantaloupe down your throat! So much for gratitude... yeah, yeah, yeah!!!



Posts: 39

Reply: 9

PostPosted: August 22, 2004 1:27 AM 

Note: in this episode when the A/C falls out of the window and Kramer lunged for the electric cord he hits Jerry's desk and the computer starts to slide and it appears that the desk is about to collapse and the computer to fall off, but they cut from the scene before it happens.

P.S. I agree, enough with all the quotes.

Tonsillitis is by ancient chinese definition an invasion of heat and wind

Posts: 1

Reply: 10

PostPosted: September 1, 2004 5:24 PM 

Kramer: "May I have one of those, Madam?"

The way kramer says this is hilarious!

Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 11

PostPosted: September 1, 2004 5:43 PM 

Hey Tonsititus...Your name unneccassarilly long name is making the front page of the forum rediculously wide. Rolling Eyes Evil or Very Mad

Joe's Fruit Stand
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 12

PostPosted: September 2, 2004 7:14 AM 

The model air-conditioner Kramer brings in is the Commando 8 ("9,000 BTUs of raw cooling power.")

In "The Shower Head," Kramer and Newman by a Commando 450 model shower head. ("Circuses use that for elephants.")

Two very underrated episodes, regardless of the connection.


Posts: 1

Reply: 13

PostPosted: December 2, 2004 10:36 PM 

One of, if not, my favorite episode

cousin jeffrey
Vile Weed

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Reply: 14

PostPosted: December 2, 2004 10:47 PM 

one of elaine's strongest episodes. that whole scene with the rabies was some of the best physical comedy i've ever seen from elaine.
and even when she get's attacked in the store, she's got one hand on her knee, the other one struggles to open the door. meanwhile, jerry walks through with a nice touch: "thank you. taxi!"

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 15

PostPosted: December 3, 2004 2:08 AM 

first swearing I heard was in the pen episode

Condo Board President

Posts: 2988

Reply: 16

PostPosted: December 6, 2004 2:59 PM 

Priceless, when Elaine gets in Kramer's face after he says, rhetorically, that she doesn't want rabies. "I don't need you to tell me what I don't want, you stupid hipster doofus!"


Posts: xxx

Reply: 17

PostPosted: May 31, 2013 3:18 PM 

Anna Gunn I totally know that bitch now.

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