I would like to extend my gratitude to the critical masses on this forum. You say my ideas wouldn't work on Seinfeld , with characters I didn't create, in a world I've never been in. Well, I have arrived at the solution. I need my own show.
I have a dream. I have a dream of saving television. I have a dream of making the next great sitcom. I have a dream of saving this once great medium from the wasteland of reality TV that it has become. I have a dream of being to television comedy in the new millenium what Bruce Springsteen was to Rock and Roll in the 1970's, saving music from the insidious grasp of Disco. I have a dream that someone, somewhere in the not so distant future will say "I've seen the future of television, and its name is Scotty Cougar".
Here's the pitch: Half Seinfeld, half Simpsons, half Animaniacs, its set on the campus of a typical Midwestern University. We follow the experiences of a borderline-sociopathic young man and the colorful people in his social circle. Let's meet the characters!
Scott - Our protagonist, consider him a Generation Y Jerry Seinfeld. He's socially stunted as a result of attending an all-boys Catholic high school. His life experiences consist of having seen every episode of the Simpsons, and Seinfeld many a time, and relates most social situations to them. He has a knowledge of pop culture beyond his years, invoking obscure TV, movie, and music references that are unfamiliar to his peers. Part Charlie Brown, and part Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate, he has no particular dreams, abilities, or passions. His heroes include Bruce Springsteen, David Letterman, and Joe Buck. He claims he looks like a young Harrison Ford.
Signature Quote: "Damn kids and your rap music."
Dusty - Scott's roommate. Your typical college computer nerd. He possesses a disdain for people with lesser computer skills than himself. He often criticizes Scott for his anti-social tendancies, though he has many himself. Dusty is completely ignorant of movies, TV, sports, and the such, and is anbivalently disgusted and envious of Scott's abundance of useless knowledge.
Quote: "How the hell do you know that?"
Johnny the toilet psychiatrist - Psychology major, who seemingly resides in the handicap stall in the 2nd floor restroom. He's always there to help Scott with his problems, but a prospective patient has to work his way down to the far end of the restroom.
Quote - "Allright, that'll be 2 rolls for the hour."
Touzinsky - Neighbor of Scott and Dusty. He is often dubious about indisputable facts, and debates them to no end. Has trouble opening doors.
Quote: (After entering Scott and Dusty's) "That's a tricky door."
Vitale - Touzinsky's roommate, he's the quintissential poser, will immitate anybody and everybody to be their friend. Will resort to bribing people with cash and other materials.
Quote "Here, you want five dollars?"
BOAG - Big Overly-Aggressive Guy. The Bluto for the new millenium. He's always there to terrify his less aggressive peers. He's usually accompanied by his best friend, Mr. Taser.
Quote: (After spiking a football into a punch bowl) "The PUNCH has been SPIKED!"
Maggie - Middle school nemesis of Scott's. They renew their feud in the pilot episode. A short, stocky, brunette she wears absurdly tight pants to accentuate her oversized buttocks, leading Scott to make the joke "Those are compact ass only jeans." Always plots to sabotage any scheme of Scott's.
"I know I look great in these jeans"
What do you think? If you don't give a damn, then tell me. I'd appreciate comments and suggestions regarding a title and a theme song. Now to write the pilot....