boys boys boys!
1) It's a cold evening in the streets of Manhattan. A baby cries in the distance. Maybe a bastard child. The lights dim in the arena. ACDC's Thunderstruck begins to boom through the PA. FDR is suddenly depicted on a larger than life big screen sporting an electric-blue face mask, matching cape, and a silver body suit with an embroidered hot dog crest on his chest. He holds his mini cooler triumphantly overhead with one hand, and points to the ring with the other. He marches in time with the bass drum to the ring, puts the cooler in the corner, then climbs up on the corner ropes and assumes a Lou Forigno crab-flex pose while a thousand camera flash bulbs explode.
The lights and music are suddenly and simultaneously extinguished.
It's time for Ron-Ron. The audience begins to cheer their hero. "RON-RON! RON-RON! "
Dire Straights Money for Nothing lead riff screams out of the speakers and a flood of lights illuminate the crowd as Ron sprints toward the cage.
You can cut the tension with a vinyl LP.
FDR, not waiting for the formality of a bell, leaps from the ropes, high into the air, and lands directly on top of RON-RON. His legs broken, Ron-Ron can do little more than give FDR a receipt for a well timed ass whooping. FDR, un-moved by the gesture, removes RON-RON's liver, puts it in his cooler, and marches back to his dressing room. "PUDDY OR MARCELINO!" he cries. "IT"S ALL THE SAME TO ME! MY BIRTHDAY WISH IS FOR BOTH OF THEM TO DROP DEAD! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
2) The fight takes place in Equador. The temperature is hot hot hot. Not surprisingly, Puddy;s face paint is smeared and dripping from the heat. Marcelino, prepared for the climate, is himself wearing a giant glove on his own head with a 'clowns-with-balloons' check now tattooed on his arm below his 'i love cocks' tattoo.
the fans cry for blood, and blood they shall have. HEADS UP! The cage drops around the ring, and Puddy hurls a Jesus Fish Ninja star the plunges deep into Marclino's right thigh! without hesitation, marcelino rushes puddy with his remaining strenth holding twin bannacca spray cans in his hands, and 'freshen's' puddy's face! but the cool grease monkey closed his eyes in time, and marcelino is out of policies. puddy trips, then cross checks, and finaly draws a checking-from-behind-penalty which induces an orgasm that leaves marcelino a cripple.
Puddy high fives the cameraman, and advances to the finals~!