Seinfeld DVD Complete Series Box Set

Seinfeld Script Search:

The Van Buren Boys

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Stan The Caddy

PostPosted: September 21, 2003 9:44 PM 

gs: David Moscow (Lomez Jr.) Bruce Davison (Wyck) Christine Taylor (Ellen) Jed Rhein (Steven Koren) Tony Colitti (Leader) Yunoka Doyle (Lydia) Dublin James (Maurice) Justine Slater (Melissa) Michelle Maika (Kim) Steve Hofvendahl (Man) Barney Martin (Morty) Liz Sheridan (Helen) John O'Hurley (Peterman)

Jerry's girlfriend, Ellen, seems perfect in every way, but everyone else seems to have a problem with her. George interviews candidates for the Foundation's first scholarship. The candidates seem over-qualified, until one comes in who is a lot like he was. Elaine is going to ghost write Peterman's biography. Kramer goes to Lorenzo's pizza, where he has an encounter with the Van Buren boys. He accidentally flashes their gang sign and saves himself. Peterman wants his day to day life covered in his bio; the exotic adventures are for the catalog. His day-to-day life is very boring. She tells him about Kramer's encounter with the gang and he suggests buying the story for his biography. George's scholar makes a change in his plans that causes George to disqualify him from the scholarship. Kramer sells Peterman all of his stories for $750 dollars. Elaine is put at his disposal. To Elaine, Kramer's stories aren't much more interesting. George and Kramer perform an intervention on Jerry's relationship with Ellen. George's scholar joins the Van Buren boys, who apply pressure on George to get the scholarship back. Elaine tells Kramer that he can no longer tell his stories, since they now belong to Peterman. Elaine tries to embellish Kramer's stories, but Peterman finds the rewrites "too clichéd and obvious." She tells him the real Kramer story that he finds much more interesting. He tells Kramer he can have his stories back. George tries to save himself from the Van Buren boys. Jerry flies his parents in to get their impression of Ellen. He begins to see the light.

b: 06-Feb-97 pc: 814 w: Darin Henry d: Andy Ackerman

NOTE: The character name of Steven Koren is taken from the name of Steve Koren who's on the production team.

Bob Sakamano

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Reply: 1

PostPosted: August 8, 2004 5:42 PM 

Can someone explain to me what was wrong with Jerry's girlfriend?


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Reply: 2

PostPosted: August 9, 2004 4:39 AM 


Haven't you ever liked, or had a crush, on someone whom everyone else around you didn't like, or thought was weird? Anyone who has, would've easily gotten this joke.

When Jerry finally decides there IS indeed something wrong with her, it's only because his parents, who are usually opposed to anything he believes in, actually "agree" with him that she's great, and say that they, too, LIKE her,,, but in Jerry's mind, if THEY like her, then something must be wrong with her, because Jerry feels he could never agree with his parents on anything. So he dumps her even though HE thinks she's perfect.

So true to life!


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Reply: 3

PostPosted: December 6, 2004 3:03 PM 

ab, she's a loser!

other walter

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Reply: 4

PostPosted: April 19, 2005 2:39 AM 

the script for this episode is incomplete, it excludes the beginning sequence between george and jerry about who the last president to have a beard was, george claims its artemis n. falkmore...


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Reply: 5

PostPosted: August 3, 2005 10:08 AM 

One of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld.

I LOVE Petermen in this episode.

"The very pants I was returning..."


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PostPosted: August 15, 2005 8:02 PM 

There really was a Lorenzo's on Union Tpke which I passed everyday going to & fro Van Buren High School in Queens

Hipster Dufus

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Reply: 7

PostPosted: August 16, 2005 11:45 PM 

One of the best parts of this episode is when Jerry and George are at the coffee shop, Jerry says, "I had a dream that a hamburger was eating me!" lol lol... so funny!

Bert Harbinson Author Profile Page

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Reply: 8

PostPosted: May 24, 2007 7:45 PM 

But why was George and Kramer looking at Jerry's girlfriend like she was ugly or something? Also what did the comment by her friends mean when they said, "That's so nice of you to take her out like this, you don't no how much she needs this." Jerry says, "Bad break up?" They say, "no, gotta run."

I never got that...

Larry David

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Reply: 9

PostPosted: January 14, 2012 6:09 PM 

This is the most confusing episode in the entire show. What's the deal with Jerry's girlfriend? Reply 2 doesn't explain her friends' comments to Jerry, and nothing explained George and Kramer's reaction or later "intervention".


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PostPosted: July 24, 2012 10:55 AM 

If you dont understand why everyone didnt like Jerry's girlfriend then you dont really understand the show...


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Reply: 11

PostPosted: July 28, 2014 10:42 PM 

Lisah, way to be about as snoody and unhelpful as possible. Seriously, why waste your time commenting like that? is it just to make yourself feel better? does there really need to be such a thing as a Seinfeld snob?

As for Larry David, Ab, and Bert Harbinson, I think what Lisah was getting at was that Ellen (Jerry's girlfriend in that episode) was just too nice. Jerry, George, and Elaine are all very shallow characters, so presumably they would be turned off by a such a nice person.

But you're absolutely right Bert and Larry, the script lacks an adequate explanation. I have no idea why George and Kramer's faces went weird when they met her. As for the idea that she's just a loser, how could they possibly know that so quickly?

I feel I "understand" Seinfeld, and i'm in the same boat as you three.


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Copyright ©2003, Mark Carey.