Seinfeld DVD Complete Series Box Set

Seinfeld Script Search:

The Wizard

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Stan The Caddy

PostPosted: September 22, 2003 10:15 AM 

gs: Grace Zabriskie (Mrs. Ross) Warren Frost (Mr. (Henry) Ross) Samuel Bliss Cooper (Darryl) Edgar Small (Sid Luckman) Vic Helford (Tom) Michael McShane (FDR (Franklin Delano Romanosky)) Bahni Turpin (Waitress #1) Constance Zimmer (Waitress #2) Jeanette Miller (Old Woman) Murray Rubin (Rubin) Liz Sheridan (Helen) Barney Martin (Morty)

Jerry buys his dad a $200 Wizard organizer for a birthday present. George receives a message from Susan's parents, the Rosses. Jerry and George debate about the race of Elaine's new boyfriend and that intrigues her (is he black?). George returns the call from the Rosses; the Foundation is having an event this weekend, but George can't attend, he has to close on his house in the Hamptons. Kramer announces his retirement, a Hollywood big shot has optioned his coffee table book about coffee tables. Elaine finds evidence that leads her to believe her boyfriend is black. Susan's parents see George on the street in the city, during the time he is supposed to be in the Hamptons. Jerry is woken up early in the morning at his parent's house and gives his father the "$50" organizer that has many features besides a tip calculator. Later he discovers that Kramer has moved down there, to join the other retirees. Elaine laughs when Susan's parents ask her about George's house in the Hamptons. Of course, George just builds on the lie. Morty, who can't run for president of the condo association, decides that Kramer should run for condo board president of Del Boca Vista phase III. Once Kramer is elected, Morty will run things from behind the scenes. Elaine schemes to try to determine her boyfriend's race. George finds out the Rosses knew that he lied. He decides to take them to the Hamptons, to "see who'll blink first."

Kramer begins his campaign and the Boca Breeze has good things to say about him (see NOTE Smile . When Elaine's boyfriend says they are an interracial couple, she is convinced he is black. George keeps building on his lie, as he picks up the Rosses and takes them on their ride to the Hamptons. Kramer receives some bad press from the Boca Breeze; it's damage control time. Kramer suggests buying each member of the board one of those Wizard tip calculators. Jerry knows he can't get the deal he told his father he'd received, but Kramer says not to worry, Bob Saccamando's father lives down here and can help them out. Elaine and her boyfriend discover that each is not the race they thought the other was. Saccamando's father comes through with knock-off tip calculators called Willard, they are defective and the election is lost. George and the Rosses reach the Hamptons, where the truth wins out.

b: 26-Feb-98 pc: 915 w: Steve Lookner d: Andy Ackerman

NOTE: The Boca Breeze also reports on Larry David's hole in one, hurting his elbow and his never playing golf again.


Posts: 1

Reply: 1

PostPosted: March 16, 2004 9:42 PM 

"well, thats it, I'm goin back to New York." -Kramer

F .Costanza

Posts: 249

Reply: 2

PostPosted: March 20, 2004 8:59 AM 

"YAAAAY!...Jerry got it open!" Laughing Laughing Laughing Razz That still makes me lose it lol Razz

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 3

PostPosted: August 9, 2004 3:44 PM 

Morty: How could you spend two hundred dollars on a tip calculator?
Jerry: It does other things!

Morty (about the Boca Breeze newsletter): Pinko Commie Rag. Very Happy

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 4

PostPosted: August 24, 2004 12:00 PM 

Just noticed that the hot dog vendor talking to George is the same guy who plays FDR in The Betrayal. The dude who wishes that Kramer drop dead.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 5

PostPosted: August 24, 2004 5:28 PM 

Jerry: "Dad, I got you a birthday present, here, Happy Birthday."

Morty: "Aw, Jerry. I should be buyin' you presents."

Jerry: "What does that mean?"

Helen: "Leave your father alone. It's his

Morty: "Oooh! Heh heh! It's a radar detector."

Everytime I see Morty say that, I crack up. I just watched this episode again last night, I now think it is in the top 10 of my favorite episodes.

Morty: "This looks like too much money."

Jerry: "Nah, I got it from a guy on the street. It was, like, fifty bucks."

Morty: "You think it's hot?"

Jerry: "Could be."

And another of my favorite quotes fom this episode is when Morty talks about the Boca Breeze newsletter...

Jerry: "Oh, right. You can't run for condo president because you were impeached at the other condo."

Morty: "I was never impeached! I resigned!"

Helen: "Even so, the press would bury him!"

Jerry: "What press?"

Helen: "The condo newsletter, the Boca Breeze."

Morty: "Pinko Commie rag."

Great episode.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 6

PostPosted: October 6, 2004 12:24 AM 

Isn't the line:

Morty:How can you pay $200 for a tip calculator

Jerry: It has other funtions!

jack klompus
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 7

PostPosted: February 21, 2005 11:37 PM 

great episode, just aired tonight on tbs. i love how the other old guy had a similar voice to jack klompus.


Posts: 2

Reply: 8

PostPosted: February 22, 2005 8:17 PM 

hi. does anyone remember which episode george made a comment about how he has never experienced a normal orgasim... he was too quick when he was younger and now he takes forever. thanks for any help.


Posts: 5505

Reply: 9

PostPosted: February 23, 2005 5:08 PM 

The Heart Attack

Condo Board President

Posts: 2988

Reply: 10

PostPosted: February 23, 2005 7:46 PM 

Orgasm this, orgasm that.


Posts: 809

Reply: 11

PostPosted: February 23, 2005 11:20 PM 

I'm ruined!


Posts: 2

Reply: 12

PostPosted: May 17, 2005 6:58 PM 

i dont know if anybody notices this, but in the part where the music is playing and kramer goes around campaining for the election, the part where the papers spin around and show on the front of the screen, a few of the titles below say "larry david gets hole in one". another one says something else about larry david, and the final one says "larry david, never to play golf again". just a bit of a funny observation i just noticed

Bruce Gartrell

Posts: 2

Reply: 13

PostPosted: August 19, 2005 1:59 AM 

One of George's "horses" is called "Prickly Pete". Can anyone tell me the name of his other one? It's driving me crazy.

elaine's panties
Hipster Dufus

Posts: 44

Reply: 14

PostPosted: August 19, 2005 2:21 AM 

One of George's "horses" is called "Prickly Pete". Can anyone tell me the name of his other one? It's driving me crazy.



Posts: 5505

Reply: 15

PostPosted: August 20, 2005 5:05 AM 

Why do idiots always copy and paste the posts they're replying to, when there are no posts in between? They should all be shot.

"Snoopy" is all you had to write, f**khead. Quit wasting everyone's time.


Posts: 8

Reply: 16

PostPosted: August 20, 2005 7:28 AM 

Jimmy, why don't you get off this board? Do yourself a favor, get the help you need for your anger problem.

Everything is you say is mean, rude, and unnecessary.

This is a board for people for Seinfeld fans, not psychos who have nothing better to do than nitpick and threaten people over
the most insignificant details, usually not even about the show.

If you and Doorman want to complain about everything, why don't you save the rest of us the time, get a room and cuss each other out for the rest of your pathetic lives.


Posts: 8

Reply: 17

PostPosted: August 20, 2005 7:33 AM 

Bookman, not Doorman. Had to correct myself before Jimmy aka Internet Nazi went haywire again.

Link Mobile

Posts: 8

Reply: 18

PostPosted: August 20, 2005 7:33 AM 

Bookman, not Doorman. Had to correct myself before Jimmy aka Internet Nazi went haywire again.

Link Mobile

Posts: 8

Reply: 19

PostPosted: August 20, 2005 7:33 AM 

Bookman, not Doorman. Had to correct myself before Jimmy aka Internet Nazi went haywire again.


Posts: 8

Reply: 20

PostPosted: August 20, 2005 7:39 AM 

Uh oh, site glitched and post showed up three times. Does that mean Internet Nazi is going to threaten to kill me or the next person that does the same thing?

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