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The world is coming to an end [Parental Advisory]

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Cosmo Kramer

PostPosted: June 2, 2004 11:27 PM 

this has mature contents. haha

Whats the Deal with Junk mail?

I wake up this morning and check my e-mail, an everyday ritual. Ahh! As I see eight new messages my presumption is that at least four will be junk mail. Damn! Only three are, but one really catches me eye. Though I have gotten my share e-mails for penis enlargement. What is so much different about this one? Well, it proceeds to tell me. This is where I notice that the world is coming to an end.

The subject of the e-mail was BREAK THROUGH WALLS WITH YOUR COCK! Ok let’s get real folks! The perception of society has become so perverse that guys ponder that they actually need a penis that can break through walls? Who in their right mind would think to their selves that “man I am not happy with my penis because it will not break through a wall”.

I have never thought about it before, but now that I have, I know my penis will not break through a wall. How do I KNOW?? Well common sense; yet I have never thought “man my penis sucks, because it will not break through this wall. My penis just will never stack up to other males that can break through walls with their penises”.

So I come to the dilemma. Do I allow myself to have an inferior penis because it will not break through walls, or do I accept my penis for what it is? I have never had any negative thoughts of my penis until now. I have been content with this size, thickness, but now… hard enough to break through walls; Just one more thing to be self-conscious about. THANKS!

Speaking of spam… Maybe I can forward those stupid bill gates and Microsoft will pay you $245.00, for every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, you will be paid $241.00 Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.

If you have ever forwarded that let me be the first to officially call you an idiot! To the person that started that spam. Thanks for starting the ball rolling so that I was able to get the “BREAK THROUGH WALLS WITH YOUR COCK”, not to mention the countless breast enlargement messages.

There is another thing to be self-conscious about. Since when were guys worried about the size of their breasts. WOW! I guess I have been out of the “IN” crowd too long!

Send this message to ten people within the next ten minutes and the person that you have a crush on will marry you. BULLSHIT! Let’s see then if I did that I would marry Brooke burke, Paris Hilton, and Dido. All of them! I highly doubt because I sent some stupid e-mail that their going to be so impressed that they want to marry someone as unintelligent as me. You never see turn on for girls that say “sending random spam messages”. Ask a girl if that turns her on. I doubt it.

Now if you see a message that comes in your e-mail that says “BREAK THROUGH WALLS WITH YOUR COCK, orgasms that break the sound barrier, bigger firmer breasts, marry anyone you want, and become rich all by sending this message” doubt that it is legitimate


Posts: 12

Reply: 1

PostPosted: June 3, 2004 7:15 AM 

Hey, I just thought of a really funny thing for your act! Alright, you're up, and you're on stage, and you go, "Hey, did you ever notice how cars here in New York, they never get out of the way of ambulances anymore? Someone's in a life and death situation, and we're thinking, 'Well, sorry buddy, you should've thought of that when you were eating cheese omelettes and sausages for breakfast every morning for the last thirty years.'" So, you gonna use it?


Posts: 809

Reply: 2

PostPosted: June 3, 2004 8:55 AM 

that might be the most appropriate 'seinfeld' quote i've ever read on this blog. it's like 3 minutes later and i'm still laughing.

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 3

PostPosted: June 3, 2004 9:40 AM 

That was funny. I'm laughing too.

Latex Salesman

Posts: 347

Reply: 4

PostPosted: June 3, 2004 11:57 AM 

I chuckled, but I just woke up.

Master of my Domain

Posts: 98

Reply: 5

PostPosted: June 3, 2004 1:57 PM 

The spam rant was humourous at times, but stu's line was glorious.

Tinker Bell

Posts: 32

Reply: 6

PostPosted: June 4, 2004 8:05 PM 

Cosmo...don't quit your day job. Let the professionals handle the comedy. I get spam to enlarge my penis, too, and I'm a woman, but I just delete it and get on with my life. I wonder what you do when you when you run out of underwear? Me? I do a wash!


Posts: 5505

Reply: 7

PostPosted: June 5, 2004 12:04 AM 

Jimmy gets spam that shows women who could USE a larger penis! LMAO!

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