Seinfeld DVD Complete Series Box Set

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Frank Costanza's Lawyer

PostPosted: June 6, 2004 6:06 AM 

The following George quote from the episode where Jerry is fooling the lie detector about Melrose Place is a revelation.

As Jerry seeks George's council (Since Jerry does "have access to one of the most deceptive minds of our time."), George sumarizes his entire character with one line... With the upmost sincerity, George replies,

"Just remember Jerry, Its not a lie, if you believe it."

I'm actually going to have this art store write up that quote in coliqraphy to frame on my wall.

Master of my Domain

Posts: 98

Reply: 1

PostPosted: June 7, 2004 12:27 AM 

Yeah, that was a good one. I also like George's opinion on society in "The Chinese Restaurant."

"You know we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilized way!"

I just love that line.


Posts: 40

Reply: 2

PostPosted: June 7, 2004 3:33 PM 


$$$Buck Naked$$$
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 3

PostPosted: June 8, 2004 4:13 AM 

These are my favorite quotes.
Some are not quotes.

George: So a little respect.
For I am Costanza... Lord of the Idiots.
Idiot: Your all winners!
George: But suddenly a new contender has emerged.

George: I thought of this great name if I ever become a porno actor.
Jerry: What... Buck Naked?

George: I tell you Jerry at that moment... I was a marine biologist!

George: What kind of a person are you?
Jerry: I think I'm a lot like you only successful.

George: This has been the dream of my live ever since I was a child and it's all happening because I'm completely ignoring every urge and good judgement I ever had.

You like that?
You know I have others Twisted Evil (hahaha man I've got to cut down on watching Seinfeld episodes).
No but seriously if you want I could put in some more.

the Opposite

Posts: 14

Reply: 4

PostPosted: June 8, 2004 12:05 PM 

I am a great quitter. I follow a line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter.... I was raised to give up


Posts: 809

Reply: 5

PostPosted: June 9, 2004 8:39 AM 

J: So what did you tell her?
G: I said I had a bus transfer that was only good for another hour.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 6

PostPosted: June 9, 2004 11:23 PM 

Heh, I think that's a great quote. Pretty much sums up George's character: cheap and full of lies, everything I want to aspire to be! (Well, maybe not so much the lies)

At any rate, I particularly liked this exchange of dialogue:

George: "I'll tell you what's insane: the price that I could get you
on a new desktop computer."
Elaine: "I am not buying a computer from you."
George: "There's porn..."
Elaine: "...Even so."


Frank: "Two months ago, I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was
called The Net, with that girl from the bus"

$$$Buck Naked$$$
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 7

PostPosted: June 10, 2004 9:57 AM 

I also like this Seinfeld quote from the Susie.

Jerry: The nerv to talk about you behind your and right in your face.

Latex Salesman

Posts: 347

Reply: 8

PostPosted: June 10, 2004 11:29 AM 

(after talking about Jerry Lewis' tape recording idea)

George: That's pretty paranoid.
Jerry: Yes it is.
George: I like it!
Jerry: I thought you might.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 9

PostPosted: June 10, 2004 3:22 PM 

I’m just getting suspicious!
George is getting upset!!
Hey, Jerry, remember Frogger? I used to be so into this game. Gettin' that frog across the street was my entire life.
Kramer, listen to me. I'm never gonna have a child. If I lose this Frogger high score, that's it for me.
GEORGE: How do you know?

KRAMER: it's in my book - "Astonishing Tales of the Sea" 51 people died.

GEORGE: 51 people?!

KRAMER: That's it?! I thought it was, like, a thousand!

KRAMER: There were 1,650 survivors.

GEORGE: That's no tragedy! How many people do you lose on a normal cruse? 30? 40?! Kramer, can I take a look at that book? (Starts walking tward the door.
George is telling the board his astonishing life stories. Every board member seems to be deeply moved by them)

GEORGE: I was handcuffed to the bed.. In my underwear, (Sighs) where I remained.. (Scene cuts to another story) She was attractive.. She was, also, infact, a

Nazi.. (Cuts to another story) The water.. that I had been swiming in was.. very cold. And, when I dropped the towel, there was.. significant shrinkage.. (Scene cuts

to, yet, another story) Her parents were looking at me.. So, there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole.. (Scene cuts to his closing

statements) In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short,

stocky, slow witted bald man. (Gets up) Thank you. (Every memeber of the board shows some sign that George's story is most deserving of the apartment. Ricardi

is crying. George turns to leave, then remembers one more thing..) Oh, also.. my fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. (Sobs and loud crying

erupts from the board members) Thanks again. (Leaves. Eldridge looks defeated)
Hahahaha there just some many i could keep going, George is SO funny Very Happy

Roger McDowell
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 10

PostPosted: June 10, 2004 4:37 PM 

Geroge:...I was eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery.
Jerry: I want you to know how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese to some kind of bachelor's paradise.

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 11

PostPosted: June 11, 2004 9:03 AM 

My fav. George-quote:


J. Chiles

Posts: 5139

Reply: 12

PostPosted: June 11, 2004 1:00 PM 

I've got it down to two, among many. First, there can be few better rants than George pleading with Cheryl not to dump him after his scheme of having Jerry act "un-funny", so that he will sound funnier, backfires on him.


"I convinced him to act like that so that you would think I was funnier. That's how disturbed I am! If you want disturbed, that's disturbed. You can't find sickness like that anywhere. You think sickness like that grows on trees? Nobody is sicker than me, nobody. He's pretending, I'm the genuine article......Yes! And I put him up to it, because I'm sick! I'm the one that needs help…...I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I got it all!!"
Then there is George (whose life, by his own admission, is a sham) reacting to the fact the Morty and Helen are trying to avoid Frank and Estelle's dinner invitation.


"The thing that bothers me the most, is the lying."

J. Chiles

Posts: 5139

Reply: 13

PostPosted: June 11, 2004 1:04 PM 

Oh, and I gotta include two more that illustrate the "cheapness" of George.

While Susan stands, horrified, watching her father's cabin burn to the ground -


"I think you forgot my change from the toll".

As the old man, to whom George is to provide companionship, leaves the diner, disgusted by George's take on aging -

"Mr. Cantwell, you owe me for the soup."

lovin' every minute of it
Magnificent Bastard

Posts: 2065

Reply: 14

PostPosted: June 11, 2004 1:18 PM 

In The Opposite when he's at the movies with Victoria and the guys behind them are being loud and obnoxiuos:

Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie!
And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna
show you what it's like! You understand me? Now, shut your mouths or I'll
shut'em for ya, and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me. Because I
would love it!

Other Walter

Posts: 650

Reply: 15

PostPosted: June 11, 2004 5:52 PM 

"Am I talking to you PINHEAD?"
"He's be-boppin' and scattin' and I'm LOSIN' IT".

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 16

PostPosted: June 12, 2004 12:21 AM 

this is one of the best, when george pretend he had spasms in his arm to lloyd in THE NON-FAT YOGURT

George And I have to go. If I don't go, he'll know I'm lying.

Jerry Well, so, what are you going to do? Sit in the doctor's office
doing this?(swinging his arm) He's going to think you're a mental patient.

George I don't care. Look, Lloyd doesn't know what he's up against.
This is nothing to me(swinging his arm). My whole life is a lie.

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