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Underrated Quotes

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PostPosted: August 13, 2004 10:38 AM 

We all know the famous quotes that even the casual Seinfeld fan knows. But what are some of your favorite lesser known quotes?

-- I'm sure "Jon" just misspelled his own name -- sometimes I spell Jerry with a 'G'... and an 'I'!!


Posts: 23

Reply: 1

PostPosted: August 13, 2004 3:29 PM 

Kramer as Pennypacker...

SALES WOMAN: Did the broker send you over?

KRAMER: Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I'm, uh, H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with. (sniffing wall) Mmm. Mombassa, hmm?

SALES WOMAN: The asking price is $1.5 million.

KRAMER: Oh, I spend that much on after shave. Yes, I buy and sell men like myself every day. Now, I assume that there's a waterfall grotto?

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 2

PostPosted: August 13, 2004 4:27 PM 

"Because he's my butler!"

Pouch Envy
Hipster Dufus

Posts: 42

Reply: 3

PostPosted: August 13, 2004 4:35 PM 

Are you kidding me? You see those ladies? you think they're scaaaared?


Posts: 428

Reply: 4

PostPosted: August 13, 2004 4:53 PM 

Kramer: "I'm free, 'cause the murderer struck again!"

Assistant to the Traveling Secretary

Posts: 135

Reply: 5

PostPosted: August 13, 2004 5:16 PM 

Kramer: "You wouldn't last a day in the Army!"
Jerry: "You were in the Army?"
Kramer: "mm..Briefly!"
Jerry: "How long were you there for?"
Kramer: "THAT'S..classified!"

Serentiy now
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 6

PostPosted: August 13, 2004 5:54 PM 

one of my favortie quotes is:

"people with guns, don't understand. that's wwhay they have guns, to have misunderstandings:

that was one of the bests

Denim Vest
Cockeyed Optimist

Posts: 551

Reply: 7

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 8:49 AM 

I love George's interaction with Mr. Eldridge, the Andrea Doria survivor.

"Mr. Eldridge! A-hoy! I understand you were on the Andrea Doria.
"Yes, it was a terrible ordeal."
"Yes, I hear people really stuff themselves on those cruises. The buffet, that's the real ordeal."
"THe boat sank!"
"It says here it took 12 hours". "The boat slipped into the sea like an old man in a warm bath, no offense."
"Now about letting me shove off in this apartment."
"I don't think I like you."
"The Stockholm may not have sunk you, but I will!"

Great stuff


Other Walter

Posts: 650

Reply: 8

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 12:18 PM 

Sid Fields: "She put milk in my tea without asking. That's a turnoff"

Denim Vest
Cockeyed Optimist

Posts: 551

Reply: 9

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 2:00 PM 

G: "Kramer, this is perfect, I need you to go in there and pretend to be a doctor and check that guy for moles."

K: "Moles, yes, freckles ugly cousin."


Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 10

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 2:38 PM 

JERRY: So lemme get this straight: you find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair, in the receptacle. And you think to yourself, "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

GEORGE: No, no. No, no, no. It was not trash!

JERRY: Was it in the trash?


JERRY: Then it was trash.

the face jerry does while drinking his coffee is so funny

serenity now
Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 11

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 3:10 PM 

Darren: Well, after ordering, Mr. Seinfeld and Mr. Costanza debated on whether or not iron man wore some sort under garment between his skin and his iron suit…

Kramer: Uh huh…

George: (Interrupts) And I still say he’s naked under there!

Jerry: Oh that makes a lot of sense.

George: Oh, shut up!

Darren: …Then Mr. Seinfeld went to the restroom, at which point Mr. Costanza scooped ice out of Mr. Seinfeld’s drink with his bare hands using it to wash up (Jerry is taking a sip of water and looking mad) then Mr. Costanza remarked to me, "This never happened." (Jerry then spits out the water).

Pouch Envy
Hipster Dufus

Posts: 42

Reply: 12

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 7:21 PM 

Yeah, here we go, yeah. Mmm, oh. That's delicious.
Mmm. It's a perfectly sane food to eat.

"The Dewey Decimal System... What a scam that was!"

"I don't know what to believe. You're eatin' onions, you're spottin' dimes, I don't know what the hell is going on!"

Jerry, this is Mr. Costanza...
Steinbrenner's here,
George is dead,
Call me back

I said 'Jump.' Well, he’s been threatening to do this for years. I said 'Look, if you’re gonna kill yourself, DO it already and stop bothering me.' At least I’d respect the guy for accomplishing something."

Pouch Envy
Hipster Dufus

Posts: 42

Reply: 13

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 7:24 PM 

Yes, and a more offensive spectacle I cannot recall.
He was moving on her like the storm troopers into Poland.

All right! But hear me, and hear me well. The day will come--Oh, yes! Mark my words! Your day of reckoning is coming when an evil wind will blow through your little play world and wipe that smug smile off your face! And I'll be there, in all my glory, watching--watching as it all comes crumbling down!

Get up, get up! That's her! Oh, the hell with this! I'm scared to death! Just walk away! It's off. Cancel everything!

"I'm telling you, the guy's a drunk. He's probably on a bender."

"You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine."

-"Bacterial meningitis... Jackpot!"
-"Gonnorhea? You wanna trade?"
-"Sorry buddy, this is the Hamlet of diseases. Severe pain, nausea, delusions... It's got everything."

Pouch Envy
Hipster Dufus

Posts: 42

Reply: 14

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 7:28 PM 

you got the chicken, the hen, and the rooster. the rooster, has sex, w/ the chicken... so, whose havin sex w/ the hen? SOMETHINGS MISSING!

Bob Sakamano

Posts: no

Reply: 15

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 8:11 PM 

Kramer: Dean Jones, you wanting to talk to me?

Dean Jones: I’ve been reviewing Darren’s internship journal. Doing laundry…

Kramer: …Yeah.

Dean Jones: …Mending chicken wire, hi-tea with a Mr. Newman.

Kramer: I know it sounds pretty glamorous, but it’s business as usual at Kramerica.

Dean Jones: As far as I can tell your entire enterprise is more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.

Kramer: And with Darren’s help, we’ll get that chicken.

Cosmo 87
Rabid Anti-Dentite

Posts: 266

Reply: 16

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 9:21 PM 

Boss: I'm sorry, we have to let you go.
K: Well, I don't even really work here.
Boss: That's what makes this so difficult.

Tor Eckman

Posts: 72

Reply: 17

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 11:22 PM 

In the episode where George is dating the pianist (I forgot her name) and Jerry puts the Pez dispenser on Elaine's leg...

Girl: I'M breaking up with YOU.
George: You're breaking up with me? But I've got hand!
Girl: And you're gonna need it!

Pouch Envy
Hipster Dufus

Posts: 42

Reply: 18

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 11:52 PM 

you know, they say ostrich has less fat, but you eat more of it

Assistant to the Traveling Secretary

Posts: 135

Reply: 19

PostPosted: August 14, 2004 11:56 PM 

George (after going back to his dumb self): "I calculated the odds of being with a Portugese woman ever again..Mathematically, I HAD to do it."

Pouch Envy
Hipster Dufus

Posts: 42

Reply: 20

PostPosted: August 15, 2004 12:02 PM 

Ohhhh for the love of god MAN, juuusst tell me what the product is

-J Peterman

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