SEINFELD BLOG

Sorry to not include this in the "headlines thread", but I like to reserve that thread for obsurd and funny stories.

This one just makes me feel sick:

At least 33 dead in rampage on Virginia campus
15 others at Virginia Tech wounded in worst mass shooting in U.S. history

Are these kids nowadays taking classes on how to speak without moving their mouths? Why is every kid who's interviewed on TV, as well as all kids I hear these days, ventriloquists? And to make matters worse, they're always trying to set some friggin speed record with each sentence.

Luckly, I'll be on borrowed time by the time they're running this country and all speaking like their jaws are wired shut.

Don't forget to interject the word "like" at least 5 times in every sentence, as well as liberally peppering "you know" into your conversation.

you know I workshopped that and it was, like, snoozers, dog

Jimmy you ungrateful bastard.