not only do my parents have this infuriatingly annoying habit of talking to me on separate phones when they call, but if i'm at their house, and need to make an uber-important call -- to the bank, say, or the insurance adjuster -- mom will listen in, to make sure i don't forget anything. sometimes this is just as well, since she's the most organized person i know, and i, on the other hand, am far from it. but this predicament innevitably leads to embarrassing situations, such as the following...
Bank: Yes, Mr. Gack, I'm calling on behalf of the First Extortive Bank of Canada. How are you today?
Me: Fine, thanks. How much do you want?
Bank: Oh, I'd say about a thousand should do it.
Me: Good, great. Go for it.
Bank: Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Gack. Also, while I have you on the phone, our computers tell us that even though you're all paid up on your student loan account, we need more money anyway.
Me: The thousand, that's not good enough?
Bank: We're a bank, Mr. Gack.
Me: Right, right. Yeah, go ahead.
Bank: Shall we say, another five hundred?
Me: Sigh. Sure. Okay. Take it.
Bank: Very good, Mr. Gack. You're one of our smarter clients.
Me: So we're about finished then?
Bank: Yes. Just let me go over these figures again, for confirmation. It's the original thousand, plus the additional five hundred.
Me: Okay. Fine.
Bank: Plus interest.
Me: Interest on what?
Bank: Don't make this hard on yourself, Mr. Gack.
Me: Yeah, yeah, you're right. Sorry.
Bank: Thank you again for your understanding, Mr. Gack.
Mom: Ask them about that floating interest rate that was on your last statement.
Me: Uh... I think you just did, mom.
This is my life.
And it's all true!