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What Would YOU Do?

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Author Message
Jimmy







PostPosted: May 14, 2005 2:44 PM 

It's 1996. You are single, unattached, with no children. You are presented with a once-in-a-lifetime gift from the Seinfeld Gods. A choice.

Choice One
You can have an entire evening of totally uninhibited threesome sex, one night only, with both Julia Louis-Dreyfus and one actress (who already has, or eventually will, date Jerry on the series) of your choosing. You will have all of those magnificent hours recorded on multi-camera shot, professionally edited video with surround sound for your own personal collection (Hollywood quality). But no other person must ever know about the encounter, nor can any other person, but yourself, ever view the movie.

Choice Two
You can appear on one Seinfeld Episode. It would be a very small, but very funny speaking part with minimal camera time on the same level as, say, the Homeless Rickshaw Trainees, or the Bookstore Walkie-Talkie cop. You would'nt have a further acting career, nor would you ever appear in anything else, ever again. It wouldn't help you meet women or receive any other special treatment. Your life would end up as it is now in 2005, but you would always have that pride of having been a tiny part of the Seinfeld series.

No ifs, ands, or buts. No questions. Those are the details. The Gods have faded away and await your answer. You must consider every word as they were presented to you.

What would your choice be.

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 1



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 2:46 PM 

Sex.

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 2



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 3:57 PM 

Gendison didn't even have time to read choice two. Beautiful! Laughing

cousin jeffrey
Vile Weed

Posts: 1714

Reply: 3



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 4:49 PM 

I wonder if Julia ever visits this forum. i think she would be very interested in knowing what kind of discussion goes on around here.

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 4



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 4:55 PM 

Jimmy actually thought about that... but it's not as if it's stalking, or an illegal activity. So Jeffrey, your answer is...

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 5



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:01 PM 

I'll take the bit part after carefully calculating my odds of eventually having sex with a tall, mute, goitered, large-breasted Portuguese waitress in cashmere who will rub oil all over her body and let me rub it in with my bald head (a head which will be bald by the time these odds are realized).

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 6



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:04 PM 

Oh yeah, provided the episode does NOT, and I cannot emphasize this enough, does not include Kathy Griffin.

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 7



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:06 PM 

Well I hope she wouldn't be offended by the fact that I took the scene where she thinks she has rabies and she's gargling that drink that she can't swallow. It falls all over her face and her clothes...I've taken that scene, edited it, slowed it down, and put it in the middle of one of my porn tapes...It fits perfectly. It's a beautiful thing.

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 8



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:10 PM 

..that kinda falls apart in the middle. You cry, and then, you cry, again.

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 9



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:12 PM 

Well, you do something, and you do something again....

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 10



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:46 PM 

I gotta tell ya, though, Jimmy, I kid because there really is no choice, heah! Anyone who would take the bit part over a romp in the hay with Elaine has GOT to have been working too hard, has bats in the belfry, needs to take a soak. Or, they're the Wigmaster.

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 11



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:48 PM 

Tawny Katean (in her prime NOT now) to complete the menage would be but a bonus! I'm into it!

cousin jeffrey
Vile Weed

Posts: 1714

Reply: 12



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:49 PM 

I think you all might be interested to know that Kathy Griffin might be going blind.

My pick would be to have a small part. Maybe in that scene where the gang is in bed together. That way, i'm in bed with elaine. Having the George, Kramer, and Jerry is a small price to pay, but hey....what are you gonna do?

Bookman
Condo Board President

Posts: 2988

Reply: 13



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:51 PM 

I'm in. Julia and the player to named later.

Gendison
Bad Breaker Upper

Posts: 3306

Reply: 14



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:52 PM 

What does "MIGHT be going blind" mean? We all MIGHT be going blind.

And even though it's no laughing matter, it doesn't mean we have to start finding her UN-annoying.

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 15



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:55 PM 

Yes, I'm interested (hangs up the phone) Wink

Bookman
Condo Board President

Posts: 2988

Reply: 16



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:58 PM 

I'd rather date the deaf than the blind. I think the blind would probably be a little messier around the house. Let's face it, they're not going to get all the crumbs. I'd constantly be walking around with a sponge.

J. Chiles


Posts: 5139

Reply: 17



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 5:59 PM 

But Elaine bought the last case.

cousin jeffrey
Vile Weed

Posts: 1714

Reply: 18



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 6:08 PM 

I read that she was having some corrective laser eye surgery. And something went wrong in the recovery, now she's going to have to have another very complicated surgery to correct it. She could go blind if it doesn't go well.

By the way, i didn't intend for the news to put an end to your fun. When her name was mentioned, it just came to my mind. I didn't mean to be Debbie Downer. (close up on my weird face, with some weird sound effect)

You know, all the revenue made by Seinfeld over its 9 year run could have helped feed millions of children for an entire decade?......

Jimmy


Posts: 5505

Reply: 19



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 6:09 PM 

Well JC, Jimmy would definitely take the sex too. But Jimmy's a loner anyway. Just thought that some people out there would find it unbearable not to be able to ever share their Elaine story to anyone. Whereas with the part, they'd at least be able to brag about it the rest of their lives.

But it looks like we're all a bunch of pervs.

cousin jeffrey
Vile Weed

Posts: 1714

Reply: 20



PostPosted: May 14, 2005 6:09 PM 

Crying or Very Sad

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