KRAMER: I stopped to look at the monkeys, when all of a sudden I am hit in the face with a banana peel. I turn and look and there is this monkey really laughing it up. Then someone tells me that he did it. Well, I pick up the banana peel and I wait for that monkey to turn around. And then I *whap* let him have it.
JERRY: Kramer, you threw a banana peel at a monkey?
KRAMER: Well, he started it!

(   JERRY: It's a monkey, Kramer!
KRAMER: Well, he pushed my buttons, I couldn't help it, Jerry.
JERRY: Well, I still think it's wrong.
KRAMER: Alright, alright, fine. You take the monkey's side, alright, go ahead.
JERRY: I'm not taking anyone's side.   )

[Kramer is in the office at the zoo.]

(   MR. PLESS: Ah, Mr. Kramer?
MR. PLESS: Thanks for coming.
KRAMER: So, uh, what did you want to see me about?
MR. PLESS: Well, Mr. Kramer, to get right to it, we're having a bit of a problem with Barry.
KRAMER: Barry?
MR. PLESS: The chimpanzee.
KRAMER: Oh. Well, uh, what's the problem?
MR. PLESS: Well, he's not functioning the way he normally does. He seems depressed. He's lost his appetite. He's even curtailed his autoerotic activities. And we think this is directly related to the altercation he had with you the other day.
KRAMER: So, so what do you want me to do?     )

--->   MR. PLESS: Well, frankly we'd like you to apologize.
KRAMER: Yeah, well he started it.
MR. PLESS: Mr. Kramer, he is an innocent primate.
KRAMER: So am I. What about my feelings? Don't my feelings count for anything? Oh, only the poor monkey's important. Everything has to be done for the monkey!