Episode 50 -- "The Airport"

Production Credits:
Supervising Producer ................. Larry Charles
Supervising Producer ................. Tom Cherones
Executive Producer ................... Andrew Sherman
Created By ........................... Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld
Written By ........................... Larry David
Directed By .......................... Tom Cherones

Cast:
Jerry Seinfeld ....................... Jerry Seinfeld (well, duh!)
George Castanza ...................... Jason Alexander
Elaine Benes ......................... Julia Louis-Drefus
Kramer ............................... Michael Richards
With:
Tia .................................. Jennifer Campbell
Prisoner ............................. Scott Burkholder
Attendant #1 ......................... Jm J. Bullock
Attendant #2 ......................... Karen Denise Williams
Grossbard ............................ Allan Wasserman
Passenger #1 ......................... Lenny Rose
Passenger #2 ......................... Annie Korzen
Security Guard ....................... Deck McKenzie
Ticket Clerk ......................... Maggie Egan
Skycap ............................... Mark Christopher Lawrence
Driver ............................... William Evan Masters


% Opening monologue (once again, the local station cuts in a few seconds
% late. *Man* I hate that...)

Jerry: ...cramped seat, working on a tiny computer; there's always a small
problem ``There'll be a slight delay, we'll be a *little* late, if
you could be a *little* *patient*! We're just trying to get one of
those *little* trucks to pull us up just a *little* closer to the
jetway so you can walk down the narrow hallway and there'll be a
man there in a tight suit and he'll tell you you have very little
time to make your connecting flight. So move it!''.

% Open with Jerry and Elaine in a car on their way to the airport. Elaine
% is singing a poppy Jazz tune.

Elaine: Bah bah baaah, Boo doo bah bah bah, boo doo waaaah, waah, waaaah...
Jerry: Hey, could you do me a favour? [pause] Could you shut-up?

% They both chortle, and Jerry is hot so he's taking his coat off, but
% Elaine refuses to take the wheel and Jerry's hand gets stuck and before
% you can say "Planes, Trains and Automobiles", they collide head-on with
% a Snapple truck....
%
% Would you believe a big purple jeep?
%
% Okay, they don't hit anything, but Jerry's hand *did* get stuck...
% Anyhoots, Elaine goes to roll down the window, and...

Elaine: Hey guess what? This window doesn't work.
Jerry: I hate rental cars. Nothin' ever works: the window doesn't work,
the radio doesn't work... and it smells like a cheap hooker...
[pause] Or is that you?
Elaine: Gimme ten bucks and find out...

Jerry: So, this worked out pretty good. Them givin' me an extra ticket,
y'know, you get a free trip to St. Louis, I did my gig, you got to
see your sister...
Elaine: Yeah, worked out good.
Jerry: And here's the beauty--
Elaine: What?
Jerry: George is pickin' us up at the airport.
Elaine: Get out of here! Why?
Jerry: You know that awning outside my building?
Elaine: Yeah...
Jerry: He's always bragging about his vertical leap, so I bet him fifty
bucks that he couldn't touch the awning.
Elaine: So what happened?
Jerry: He didn't come within two feet of the thing. He's wavin at it...
So, I told him if he picks us up at the airport, he wouldn't have
to pay me anything.

Elaine: Hey, how we doin' on time?
Jerry: Timed out perfectly. Drop off the car, pick up the rental car
shuttle, we walk right on the plane...

% Oops.

Elaine: Hey! Wait up!
Jerry: Hey! Wait up!
Driver: Sorry. Heh heh heh...

% The driver speeds away without our heroes, and he seems pretty happy
% about it.
%
% Finally inside, they check their luggage...

Skycap: Where you goin'?
Jerry: Uh, JFK. [To Elaine] I need some small bills for a tip. You
got anything?
Elaine: Yeah, you want five?
Jerry: Gimme ten.
Elaine: You're giving him *ten* dollars?
Jerry: Well, we got three bags.
Elaine: That's a pretty big tip...
Jerry: That's what they get!
Elaine: They don't get that much.
Jerry: Let's ask him.
Elaine: We can't ask him...
Jerry: Let's see what he says.
Elaine: Jerry, we don't have time for this...
Jerry: Two seconds. [To Skycap] Excuse me, my friend and I here, we were
having a discussion and we were wondering what you usually get for
a tip.
Skycap: Depends on the person, depends on the bag.
Jerry: Uh, how about a couple of people like us.
Skycap: People like you? I wouldn't expect much, you don't even look like
you know what you're doing...
Jerry: C'mon, seriously...
Skycap: Well, since you asked, usually, I get five dollars a bag.

% What!?

Elaine: What!?
Skycap: That's right.

% *Five* bucks a bag?

Elaine: *Five* dollars a bag? I don't think so.
Skycap: Look, you asked, I told you.
Elaine: You got some nerve trying to take advantage of us...
Jerry: All right, look, we're late. Thank you very much...
Elaine: You're lucky I don't report you...

% Fight the power, Lainey... As the two leave, the Skycap checks their
% baggage. Jerry's two pieces first:

Skycap: JFK...

% Then Elaine's:

Skycap: ...Honolulu.

% Inside the gate, J+E are running to get to the ticket counter in time.

Elaine: Wait up!
Jerry: You see? Never be late for a plane with a girl. 'Cuz a girl
runs like a girl-- with the little steps and the arms flailing
out... You wanna make this plane, you've gotta run like a man!
Get your knees up!

% Yeah, but Jerry-- she's so darned perky when she runs. Besides, she's
% carrying luggage and you're not. Some gentleman. Hmfph. Anyway, they
% get to the ticket counter.

Jerry+Elaine: The flight's been canceled?!?!
Ticket Lady: Everything into JFK's booked... No, wait-- I have two seats
into Laguardia-- but they're not together. It's boarding
right now.
Jerry: We'll take 'em!

Elaine: We're not going to sit together?
Jerry: Well, so what? It's not that long-- you'll read.
Elaine: Well, what about George? He's supposed to pick us up at Kennedy.
Jerry: We'll call him...
Elaine: There's no time.
Jerry: No time? [To ticket lady] Is there time?
TLady: There's no time.
Jerry: There's no time. All right, we'll call him from the plane.

TLady: I have one seat in first class, and one in coach. The price is
the same since your flight was canceled.

% The two have that uncomfortable politeness that only comes about when
% you're down to the last piece of pizza. Jerry breaks the silence:

Jerry: I'll take the first class.

Elaine: Jerry!
Jerry: What?
Elaine: Why should you get the first class?
Jerry: Elaine, have you ever flown first class?
Elaine: No.
Jerry: All right then. See? You won't know what you're missing. I've
flown first class, Elaine-- I can't go back to coach. I can't...
I won't...
Elaine: You flew here coach.
Jerry: Yeah, that's a point...

Elaine: All right, fine. I don't care. If the plane crashes, everybody in
first class is going to die, anyway.
Jerry: Yeah, I'm sure you'll live.

% They board the plane, and the flight attendant "welcomes" Elaine aboard.

Attendant #1: Third row right...

% Then Mr. First class Jerry comes aboard.

Attendant #1: Oh, you're in here, sir. Welcome aboard.
Jerry: Bon voyage, Lainey!

% Elaine is robbed of her peek into the first class section by a drawn
% curtain and she goes to her seat. However, someone comes after her and:

Passenger #1: Oh, excuse me... Um, excuse me, miss, I think you're
sitting in my seat...

% Elaine moves over, and he moves in. The guy's got like 5 bags and Data
% General laptop.

Passenger #1: I never check my bags-- I can't stand that wait in the
baggage area.
Elaine: Great... [To herself] Help me...

% Jerry gets to his seat, however, he also is in the wrong seat:

Tia: Excuse me, I think you're in my seat...
Jerry: Oh, sorry... My mistake... [To himself] Thank... *you*!

% Did I mention that Tia is one hot tamale? Yikes.
%
% Anyway, we cut back to George and Kramer in the car.

George: Hey, thanks for coming with me.
Kramer: Hey, what made you think you could touch that awning?
George: I confused it with another awning.

Kramer: So how we doin' on time?
George: We're perfect. I timed this out so we would pull up at the
terminal *exactly* 17 minutes after their flight is supposed to
land. That gives them just enough time to get off the plane, pick
up their bags and be walking *out* of the terminal as we roll up.
I tell you, it's a thing of beauty. I can not express to you the
feeling I get from a perfect airport pickup.

% Um, George... Did you say "perfect"?

George: What's going on? What are you doing? The Long Island Expressway?
What are you getting on the Long Island Expressway for? Do you
know what the traffic will be like? This is a suicide mission!
Kramer: Will you relax?!
George: Oh, I had it perfectly timed out: the Grand Central, the Van Wyck!
You destroyed my whole timing!
Kramer: This is the best way to go!
George: Do you know what happens if I miss him? I don't get credit for the
pickup and I lose my 50 bucks...

Kramer: George, there's no traffic at this time. Now, come on, man...
George: Really?
Kramer: If anything, we'll probably get there early. I'll have a chance to
go to the Duty Free shop.
George: The Duty Free Shop? Duty Free is the biggest sucker deal in retail.
Do you know how much duty is?
Kramer: Duty.
George: Yeah, "duty". Do you know how much duty is?
Kramer: No, I dunno how much duty is.
George: Duty is *nothing*. It's like sales tax...
Kramer: I still like to stop at the duty free shop.
George: I like to stop at the duty free shop.

% They start to "sing", growing more excited after each iteration:

G+K: I like to stop at the duty free shop!
I like to stop at the duty free shop!

% Meanwhile, back on the plane, Jerry and Tia are chatting (isn't that
% always the way? You get stuck beside someone who insists on going on and
% on about their kids and how their life didn't go according to plan and
% all that boring dreck...)

Tia: So, he says, ``squeeze your breasts together'', and I say, ``I
thought this was an ad for shoes''...
Jerry: Oh my...

% Okay, maybe not all conversations are dull and boring...
%
% She fixes her glance at Jerry's nether regions:

Tia: Is that the new Esquire? Turn to page 146.

% Oh yeah, did I mention he had a magazine on his lap and *that's* what she
% was gawking at? Anyway, he checks out page 146.

Jerry: Wow! Coming out of the shower... It's a good thing they gave you
that washcloth to cover yourself up...

% Um, what was that page number again?

Jerry: What is this an ad for?
Tia: See those wrinkled jeans slung over the chair? Way in the
background, out of focus?
Jerry: Uh-huh...

% In traffic, Kramer and George are surrounded by honking cars and what
% is obviously heavy traffic...

Kramer: How does it look on your side? [Pause while George just stares at
him] We'll get there...

% Back in, ugh, *coach* (those heathens), the annoying guy is sleeping beside
% her while the woman on her other side is reading a book. Elaine is looking
% rather, shall we say "pensive". She talks to herself:

Elaine: Oh, look at this... He's sleeping and I have to go to the
bathroom. Maybe he'll wake up soon. What if my kidneys burst? Is
it worth it not to wake this man up to damage a major organ? I hope
this disgusting slob appreciates what I'm doing for him... [To
passenger on the other side of her, but still to herself] Yeah, make
a little more noise with your gum-- that's helpful.

% Oh, you poor, frail dear... On the bright side, Kramer and George arrive
% at the airport. They're running to the terminal:

George: They're not here! You cost me fifty bucks!
Kramer: Look at you! You run like a girl! Run like a man! Lift your
knees!

% They find an arrival/departure screen thingie:

George: Look, we're wasting our time here! We're a half-hour late, they've
probably took it off the board already.
Kramer: No, there it is, right there-- 133... and it's canceled.
George: Canceled? Do I still get credit for the pick up? I was here!
Kramer: Ok, c'mon... let's go check over at the ticket counter.

% A bearded man comes up to the screen before they go:

Grossbard: Oh, there it is honey, gate 18A, 8:30... [He leaves]

Kramer: Did you see that guy?
George: No... What guy?
Kramer: That guy.. He was just...
George: Listen, you go over to the ticket counter, I'm going to go stop in
the gift shop and pick up a copy of Time magazine. There's
supposed to ba blurb about Jerry in it and I think he mentioned my
name!
Kramer: [still lost] I know that guy...

% Y'know, he looks familiar to me, too. Reminds me of this guy John
% Grossbard that I knew a while back. Got me involved in one of those
% shady pyramid schemes... Man, if I ever meet up with him again...
%
% But, I digress. We cut to the airport gift shop where a man in handcuffs
% and shackles is being led around by two FBI-looking types:

Prisoner: Gotta get my Time magazine... Never miss my Time magazine.
Guard: Yeah, get your magazine and let's get out of here.

% George lifts the last copy from the rack before the con can get it.

Prisoner: Hey, I was gonna take that!
George: Gee, I'm sorry... I got here first.
Prisoner: I don't care when you got here, I want the magazine...
George: You don't understand, there's a *blurb* about me in this magazine!
Prisoner: A *blurb*?!? *You're* a blurb! Check out the cover, idiot!
Guard: All right, let's go...

% George checks out the cover shot which shows a picture of the
% aforementioned prisoner with the caption ``Caught!'' written below.

Prisoner: I want the magazine!
George: Umm... No.
Prisoner: You know what I would do to you, if I wasn't in these shackles...
George: But you are Blanche... You *are* in the shackles. Oh, I can't
wait to read my *Time* magazine! Laaaast copy, too. Maybe I'll
read it tomorrow-- in the park! It's supposed to be a
beeyootiful day! Have a nice life... sentence, that is!

% Kramer comes into the gift shop and does a Krameresque double-take at
% "that guy" from the departure screen who's browsing books. He goes up to
% George.

Kramer: They're on a different flight. They're scheduled to land in a half
hour, only at Laguardia.
George: Laguardia? All right, let's go. C'mon...
Kramer: Where do I know that guy from?

% Back in the developing nation section of the plane (coach, that is), Elaine
% is still pining for the guy next to her to wake up so she can go to the
% bathroom.

Elaine: [To herself, loudly] Wake up, you human slug! Wake up! *Wake*
*up*!! I can't hold it anymore! [To the slug out loud] Excuse me,
I've gotta go to the bathroom...

% The cad has the nerve to look peeved, and Elaine has a hard time getting
% out of her seat. She looks a little like Kramer stumbling and falling into
% the aisle. The capper is that as she's getting up, facing the row of seats
% (and their staring sitters) across from her, Elaine makes faces at them like
% she's a homicidal maniac from "Taxi Driver". You can just see the words
% ``You lookin' at *me*?'' etched in her brain. It's a killer.
%
% Anyway, as Elaine scurries off to the bathroom, Jerry and Tia are enjoying
% some hot towels on their faces.

Jerry: Oh my... that *is* refreshing...
Attendant: Would you care for some slippers?
Jerry: Sounds lovely! [To Tia, motioning to put them on her] May I?
Tia: Please!
Jerry: Why, It's a perfect fit. You must be Cinderella.

% They chortle to themselves and tink glasses (no, that's not a cleverly-
% masked euphemism). Back in the car...

George: My name is not mentioned in this blurb...

% Ding!

Kramer: It's Grossbard!

% Why don't these people listen to me? I don't understand...

George: Who's Grossbard?
Kramer: When I lived on Third avenue and 18th street 20 years ago, I had
this roommate who was *always* behind in his rent. Then one month,
he asks me to loan him his share of the rent-- 240 bucks! He took
the cash and >pfffft< disappears. Well, I try to find him, I went
to his girlfriend's house, even his family. Uh-uh. I never got the
money back! He screwed me! And that's the guy-- John Grossbard!
George: Hey Kramer, c'mon-- it was 240 bucks twenty years ago...
Kramer: No, I'm gonna turn around... I'm gonna get that guy...
George: No-no-no, Kramer. Kramer! Kramer! You *cannot* abandon people in
the middle of an airport pickup! It's a binding social contract.
We... we must go forward... not back.

% George, that's beautiful. Ever thought of running for office?
%
% Meanwhile, 32 000 feet above them, Elaine is still waiting to get into the
% bathroom-- there's someone in there. *Finally*, a ZZ Top reject comes out
% of the bathroom and, to paraphrase Jerry in "The Smelly Car": ``I open the
% door, like a *punch* in the *face*, the stench hits me--''. Elaine takes
% in a lungful of air and goes in. Brave little soldier.
%
% Jerry comes back from the *first class* washroom:

Jerry: Tia, did you see all the flowers in that bathroom? It's like an
English garden in there.
Attendant: They're gardenias, mostly.
Jerry: I thought I smelled lilac.
Attendant: Yes, there are a few of those, too...
Tia: It's almost overwhelming...

% The captain interrupts our little irony:

Captain: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Due to
equipment problems at the runway at Laguardia, we've been
instructed by the tower to re-route and land at JFK. We apologise
for any inconvenience...

% Elaine exits the bathroom, exasperated and curious:

Elaine: [To anyone who'll listen] What'd he say? What'd he say?

% Back to George and Kramer at Laguardia; George has been inside to see if
% J+E are there, he reports his findings back to Kramer in the car.

George: Well, You're not gonna believe it...
Kramer: What?
George: The plane's been re-routed *back* to Kennedy. We've got 45 minutes.
Kramer: Let's go. Listen to the bell, Grossbard-- it tolls for thee.

% Kramer peels out. He's on a mission from God.
%
% In first class, Jerry and Tia get the lowdown on the grub:

Attendant: We have some *delicious* Chateau Briande, my personal favourite.
Or, if you prefer something lighter, a poached Dover sole in a
delicate white wine sauce with just a *hint* of saffron.
Jerry: Oh, saffron! That sounds good.
Attendant: And today we're featuring wines from the *Tuscany* region...
Jerry+Tia: Tuscany!

% They do that "tink" thing again, and we rejoin Elaine going back to her
% seat, but the other attendant is serving the slop to the unwashed masses
% in coach and he's in her way.

Elaine: Hi. Can I get to my seat?
Attendant: You're just gonna have to wait...
Elaine: But you just passed it. I'm sitting right there next to that
guy...
Attendant: You're not supposed to get up during the food service.
Elaine: Well, nobody *told* me that!
Attendant: Look. This plane is *full*. I got a lot of people to serve.
Now please... You're just gonna have to wait.

% Back at JFK, George and Kramer check out the Arrivals board (again)...

George: There it is. Gate 46... We got plenty of time.
Kramer: Grossbard's plane leaves in ten minutes. I *still* got time to
catch him!
George: How you gonna catch him? He's probably boarded the plane already.
Kramer: Gimme your credit card.
George: My credit card?
Kramer: Just gimme the card, don't ask me any questions.
George: I'm not gonna give you my card unless you tell me what it's for!
Kramer: I'm gonna buy a ticket-- I'm gonna get on that flight.
George: What, are you, nuts? You're gonna spend more on the ticket than
you're gonna get back from Grossbard.
Kramer: No, I'm not gonna use the ticket! I'm gonna get my money, I'll get
off the plane and turn your ticket in for a refund. It's not gonna
cost you a dime! Now gimme the card.
George: This is a *great* idea! Here... use this one. I get frequent flyer
miles with every purchase... Wait! Get two tickets. As long as
your turning it in for a refund what's the difference? I'll get
*double* the bonus miles.

% Back in *coach* (I get hives just thinking about it), Elaine returns to her
% seat now that the attendant is done serving.

Elaine: Excuse me. I'm sorry to make you do this, but I got stuck in
the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't let me get through.
There's no way to get around that cart...
Passenger 1: You're not supposed to get up during the food service.
Elaine: I'll try and remember that. [Pause] Where's my meal?
Passenger 1: He asked me where you were, and you were gone so long I thought
you, uh, switched seats.

% Uh-huh... Elaine addresses the nearby attendant.

Elaine: Excuse me? Excuse me, but I didn't get a meal.
Attendant: Are you sure?
Elaine: Yes, I'm sure! I would know if a tray of food had been served
to me.
Attendant: Would you?

% Ooooh, them's fightin' words, Monroe.

Attendant: Well, the only meal left is a kosher meal.
Elaine: Kosher meal? I don't want a kosher meal. I don't even know
what a kosher meal is.
Passenger 1: I think it means when a Rabbi has inspected it, or something.
Passenger 2: No, no. It all has to do with the way they kill the pig.
Passenger 1: They don't eat pigs!
Passenger 2: They do if it's killed right-- under a Rabbi's supervision.

% Ummmm, sure. Another (uncredited) passenger addresses the debate from
% somewhere out of camera range.

Passenger 3: Oh, You know what? *I* ordered the kosher meal.
Elaine: Then why didn't you take it?
Passenger 3: I ordered it six weeks ago, I forgot.
Elaine: You're eating my food!

Attendant: Look, I got earplugs to collect. Do you want it, or not.

% Take the food, Elaine. But ask that guy just what the heck a kosher meal
% is-- I'm curious...
%
% Meanwhile, Jerry and Tia enjoy a nummy-lookin' dessert treat.

J+T: Mmmmmmmm!
Tia: This is the best sundae I've ever had.
Jerry: Oh, man. You know what... they got the fudge on the bottom-- y'see?
That enables you to control your fudge distribution as you're eatin'
your ice cream.
Tia: I've never met a man who knew so much about nothing.
Jerry: Thank you...
J+T: Mmmmmm!

% We get a quick shot of Elaine staring at *something* on the end of her fork
% with a decidedly unimpressed look. Back in first class:

Attendant: More anything?
Jerry: More everything!

% Does that include Rabbi-slaughtered bovines?
%
% Back at JFK...

Kramer: Look, I got Super Savers! C'mon.
George: Super Savers? Are they refundable!?

% No.

George: You bought non-refundable tickets, you idiot!
Kramer: She talked me in to it-- she said it was the best deal.
George: Do you know how much this is going to cost me?
Kramer: Look, I'll tell you what-- I'll split it with you

% How big of you, you brute. They board the plane.

George: Look, I'm gonna go to the bathroom...

% I dunno, George. Those *coach* bathrooms stink. Just ask Elaine.
%
% Kramer goes forward and confronts Grossbard. For his part, Grossbard
% doesn't seem to recognise Kramer from twenty years ago (then again, he
% apparently had short hair at the time). After trying in vain to reach
% Grossbard's wallet, Kramer is escorted off the plane. Before this can
% take place, George knocks on the bathroom door to a reply of ``Just a
% minute'' from the occupant inside (I bet he stinks). Anyway, the door
% opens and, surprise! It's the Prisoner without his Time magazine (at
% least now we know why he needed it so badly-- reading material for the
% john). Anyway, the guy pulls George into the bathroom (he's still
% wearing his cuffs and shackles, BTW (that's got to make it rather
% difficult to go to the bathroom, but I digress)). So, while George is
% in the can with the serial killer, Kramer is escorted off the plane.
% Don't worry-- the plane isn't moving yet. And what's up with going to
% the bathroom on a non-moving plane? Isn't there laws against that?
% Or is it just trains that you have to wait until they're moving? Who
% really cares, anyway?
%
% Meanwhile, somewhere above New York, Elaine sneaks into first class
% (she's so cute when she shows her rebellious side). She just gets
% settled into a comfy seat complete with pillow (they probably get rocks
% in, ugh, *coach*), when all of a sudden:

Attendant: Excuse me... Excuuuse me...
Elaine: What? Oh, no... nothing for me thanks.
Attendant: What is your name?
Elaine: Elaine Benes?
Attendant: [Checks her list] You're going to have to go back to coach.
Elaine: No, but there was nobody sitting here...
Attendant: Yes, but you're still not allowed. These seats are very
expensive.
Elaine: Oh, no, please, don't send me back there. Please, I'll do
anything. It's so nice up here. It's so comfortable up here.
I don't want to go back there. Please don't send me back
there... [She notices another attendant offering goods]
Oh, you got *cookies*!
Attendant: You're going to have to go back to your seat!
Elaine: Ok, fine. I'll go back... You know, our goal should be a
society *without* *classes*! [She goes through the curtain to,
ick, *coach*] Do you realise that the people up here are
getting *cookies*!

% The outburst has awoken Jerry and Tia who are sharing a blanket and
% napping (at least, that's what I *think* they're doing under that
% big, blue blanket...)

Jerry: What is all the racket back there? You know, you're trying to
relax on the plane and this is what you have to put up with.
[To attendant] What is going on?
Attendant: Sir, this woman tried to *sneak* into first class.
Jerry: Oh, you see, that's terrible. The problem is, that curtain is
no security-- there really should be a locking door.

% Electrified, with a moat if possible. They return to snuggling...
%
% Back on terra firma, Kramer is being escorted through the airport by a
% security guy. He tries to talk his way out:

Kramer: Hey! That guy owes me 240 bucks!

% No good. He breaks free and makes a run for it and seemingly escapes.
%
% Meanwhile, Jerry is getting ready for deboarding and he glances out the
% window only to see a rather harried Kramer running, arms flailing out on
% the runway. He takes a second look, just to be sure.

Jerry: Couldn't be...

% After they get off the plane, J+E look for the boys and get their baggage
% (question: how would they know Kramer was there, too? They didn't get a
% hold of George on the phone, or he would've went to Laguardia in the first
% place...)

Jerry: Where are they already? I don't see them anywhere...

% Well, George is being raped in a bathroom and Kramer is still on the lam
% somewhere in the airport...

Jerry: I got my bags, I'm ready to go.
Elaine: Yeah, *you* got *your* bags...

% In Honolulu, Elaine's bag appears to be having a good time, revolving
% around the baggage thingy, complete with lei...

Elaine: The worst flight I have been on in my entire life.
Jerry: Yeah, me too...

% He seems so sincere. Tia walks by, along with an entourage of
% photographers.

Tia: I'll call you.
Jerry: Okay... [To a bamboozled Elaine] It's a business thing...

% Enter the K-man through the ramp where the baggage comes out-- you didn't
% expect a whole episode to go by without a "Kramer entrance", did you?

Kramer: You guys ready?
Jerry: Yeah. Where's George?

% Hmmm... We go to a shot outside the plane looking in on a rather roughed
% up George Costanza. He screams:

George:

% Well, you can't hear him through the window, but he is definitely shouting
% ``KRAMER!''

Jerry: But I have to admit, I like flying. I like those little bathrooms
that they have on the plane. It's kind of like a small apartment of
your own on the plane. You go in, you close the door, the light
comes on. It's like a small surprise party every time you go in
there. The worst way of flying, I think is "standby", you ever fly
standby? It never works, you know, that's why they call it standby--
you stand there going ``Bye!'' So I was on this flight where the
flight attendant-- it was her first day on the job so they didn't
have a uniform for her yet, and that really... makes a big difference,
I mean this is just some regular person coming over to you going
``Would you mind bringing your seat back all the way up?'' It's like,
``Who the Hell are you?!''
[End]